culture

Is It Legal for a Statue to Be This Sexy?

You can climb Jeff Goldblum now.

The fine people at U.K. streaming service Now TV have decided to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Jurassic Park by constructing a very large statue of 1993 Jeff Goldblum as the sweat-soaked Ian Malcolm. Being a statue of Jeff Goldblum, it is incredibly hot.

The large Goldblum is 23-feet long and nearly 10 feet tall, and weighs a dainty 331 pounds, according to CNET. (Ideal measurements for a man if you ask me — you could always wear heels!) And not only is this statue huge, it is refined. A smattering of chest hair covers Statue Jeff’s chess. His shirt hangs loosely off of his shoulders. Statue Jeff’s nipples are pointed up to the heavens, as he just smolders out into the middle distance.

Statue Jeff captures arguably the best moment from Jurassic Park, the scene in which Goldblum lays posed like some sort of art-class sculpture model. Reflecting on this historic cinematic image in an interview in March, Goldblum said, “I’m suffering … I’m stoically and manfully bearing up with some kind of pain … Things are hot, and I’m sure I’m in some kind of fever. So all of the logic is that you have to get some of these wet clothes off, immediately.” Yes, it is only right that this moment should be immortalized, and ten feet long.

If you’re thinking about making a pilgrimage to that languidly lounging Jeff statue, you’d better start Googling flights to London: It’s perched on the grass in front of the Tower Bridge.

This Jeff Goldblum Statue Is Making Us Sweat