Man Calls Police After Savage Attack by … Baby Squirrel?

Danger. Photo: Gabriel Bouys/AFP/Getty Images

On Thursday, a man in Germany called police because he was being chased by a baby squirrel. A baby squirrel! Some people have all the luck.

According to The Guardian, when officers sent a patrol car out to “investigate,” they found the chase “still in full flow,” and probably, one assumes, still fully adorable. The saga “ended suddenly when the squirrel, apparently exhausted by its exertions, lay down abruptly and fell asleep.”

Police believe the tiny, overeager angel targeted the man because it had been separated from its mother, and was looking for a new guardian.

“It often happens that squirrels which have lost their mothers look for a replacement and then focus their efforts on one person,” said police spokeswoman Christina Krenz. She added that the soft little babies could be “very persistent, not just running behind someone, but entirely fixated on them. It can be pretty scary. The man didn’t know what to do and so he called the police. He was certainly feeling a bit threatened.”

Personally, I think having a squirrel kitten be “entirely fixated” on me sounds like a dream come true. But to each their own, I guess.

The police took the squirrel into custody (!) and then to an animal shelter that is currently caring for two other abandoned baby squirrels. Officers named the detainee Karl-Friedrich, which is a good, strong name for such a determined little guy, and said he would be their station’s mascot.

Updated, 08/10/2018, 1:27 p.m.:

The police in Karlsruhe, where the incident took place, have released pictures of Karl-Friedrich curled up fast asleep in a little box, and also in some paper towels. Just look at him!!!!!!!!!!

Man Calls Police After Savage Attack by … Baby Squirrel?