culture war

Conservatives Are Now Drinking From Plastic Straws to Own the Libs

Blonde woman drinking from a plastic straw.
Photo: Michael Heim/Getty Images/EyeEm

From smashing their Keurigs in solidarity with Sean Hannity to lying in dumpsters to wearing diapers, conservatives have been working overtime in their never-ending quest to own the libs. Their newest activity meant to trigger snowflakes? Drinking out of plastic straws.

This comes after companies and cities across America have started banning plastic straws in the name of environmental conservation. Conservatives, as evidenced by this Daily Caller post titled “NO JOKE: DRINKING STRAWS COULD LAND YOU IN PRISON,” see this as an overreach of Big Government. (And/or they really have a passion for destroying marine life.) So they’ve retaliated, in a fiery protest that involves … posting pictures of themselves enjoying cooling refreshments by taking little sips out of plastic straws.

I may not agree with what they have to say, but I support their right to look like complete friggin’ idiots while doing it.

Conservatives Drink From Plastic Straws to Own the Libs