merry england

Sorry to Inform You That John Lennon and Paul McCartney Technically Masturbated to Winston Churchill

Friends. Photo: Daily Mirror/Mirrorpix via Getty Images

The plays of William Shakespeare. James Bond. Bread sandwiches. Rain. All of these are triumphs of British culture and innovation. But now, one glorious moment has eclipsed them all: the time Beatles legends Paul McCartney and John Lennon apparently jerked it together to Winston Churchill. God save the Queen!

In a GQ profile published this week, McCartney shares some salient details about his life and creative process, like the fact that he used to kill frogs in the woods behind his house when he was a kid (“It was like a weird sort of thing that I kind of hated doing but thought: ‘I’m toughening myself up,’”), that he would “not rule out” microdosing, and this little tidbit that I will include in its entirety to ensure that you don’t miss one single magical detail.

“What it was,” he explains after I have prompted him, “was over at John’s house, and it was just a group of us. And instead of just getting roaring drunk and partying — I don’t even know if we were staying over or anything — we were all just in these chairs, and the lights were out, and somebody started masturbating, so we all did.”

There would be about five of them: McCartney, Lennon, and maybe three of Lennon’s friends. As they each concentrated on their mission, anyone in the group was encouraged to shout out a name that would offer relevant inspiration.

“We were just, ‘Brigitte Bardot!’ ‘Whoo!’” McCartney says, “and then everyone would thrash a bit more.”

At least until one of them — the one you would perhaps expect — opted for disruption over stimulation.

“I think it was John sort of said, ‘Winston Churchill!’” McCartney remembers, and acts out the aghast, stymied reactions.

Yes, for a few brief moments, John Lennon and Paul McCartney were in the same room yanking themselves while envisioning the bulldog face of former prime minister Winston Churchill.

When asked if this happened a lot, (the yanking, not the Churchill bit, presumably) McCartney replied:

“I think it was a one-off,” McCartney replies. “Or maybe it was like a two-off. It wasn’t a big thing.”


Read the full profile here.

Paul McCartney Says He and John Lennon Jacked Off Together