turt watch

This Turtleneck Is So Good, It Made Me Ditch Uniqlo

Photo: Courtesy of Entireworld

As soon as we hit October this year, I went straight to Uniqlo to stock up on as many $14.90 Heattech tops as I could afford. In fact, I visited the Soho store thrice in one week.

Reader, I got carried away.

By the second week in October, I was sweating everywhere. It was a mess. I was shedding layers mid-conversation at social functions, taking up more than one of those coveted hangers located underneath bar counters. I went too hard on the Heattech, too soon. But what else is a girl to do when it’s below 60 degrees and she wants to be nice-looking (she’s still single, despite her many first date turts), and cozy, because she’s a Taurus who won’t leave the house for anyone? Hm…

Enter an $85-dollar green cotton turtleneck sweater from Entireworld, a brand launched earlier this year by former Band of Outsiders designer Scott Sternberg. A turtleneck so good — so flattering and so comfortable — that yes, it’s made me reconsider buying exclusively Uniqlo tops.

Photo: Courtesy of Entireworld

Entireworld sells what someone in fashion might call “elevated basics.” In other words, they’re selling you — to quote the brand — “the stuff you live in,” like T-shirts and turtlenecks and underwear. But really nice T-shirts and turtlenecks and underwear. Eighty-five-dollar kind of stuff that is deceptively simple and made from fabrics that (hopefully) won’t fall apart.

Yes, I rolled my eyes when I heard about yet another “elevated basics” brand. (This isn’t even the first one that claims to service the “entire world,” or everybody in the entire world.) Like the broken record that I am, I raise my fists and yell, “Uniqlo does it better!” anytime they’re mentioned in my presence.

But, as any Taurus horoscope will tell you, stubbornness doesn’t get you anywhere, and I needed a change. I did the math (no advanced sex math, but still), and realized that I could buy five-and-a-half Heattech turtlenecks, or one nice, elevated turtleneck from Entireworld. I know it doesn’t sound like a good deal, but here’s why I decided to get the latter: I didn’t own anything else like it.

Other reasons include: The color green is the perfect shade of almost-neon. It’s thicker than Heattech, so it keeps you warm, but still thin enough to be flattering and not make you sweat, like Heattech fabric does. And, most importantly, it’s a two-in-one deal. I usually have to wear sweaters over my Uniqlo tops, but this is a turt that does both. Plus, Jenny Slate has it.

My new Entireworld turtleneck also has emotional value: I got compliments when I wore it. And that’s not a brag — it just made me realize how few compliments I get when I wear ones from Uniqlo. (Zero; the number is zero.) There’s nothing exceptional about a black Uniqlo Heattech top, which is why it’s so great. But I was happy to finally be wearing something with a little personality. This was a treat to myself, and it felt like it.

My co-worker has since bought this same Entireworld turtleneck. And when I saw her wearing it this week, you bet I gave her a compliment. It may not be for the whole entire world, but it does work for me and one other person I know. And in New York, that’s good enough.

This Turtleneck Is So Good, It Might Make You Ditch Uniqlo