A Dutch “positivity guru” and sometime DJ named Emile Ratelband has begun a legal battle with the Netherlands court system to reduce his actual age (69) to the age which he, somewhat delusionally, feels he could pass for (49). Instead of being born on March 11, 1949, he would like to have been born on March 11, 1969. His grounds for the lawsuit? He is not getting enough attention on Tinder.
“When I’m on Tinder and it says I’m 69, I don’t get an answer,” Ratelband told the court. “When I’m 49, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position.” (There seems to be a possible translation issue here, as CNN quoted Ratelband as having said, far less delicately, that “When I’m 49, with [this face], then I’m rammed.”) Ratelband said doctors had told him he had the body of a 45-year-old, and described himself as a “young god,” which is all well and good, apart from the fact that he was born 69 years ago.
Because Ratelband says he feels 20 to 25 years younger than his actual age, he claimed his request was no different than that of trans people who wish to change their legal sex marker. In early testimony, the judge reportedly asked Ratelbland how his parents would feel, given that his new birthday would essentially mean they did not raise him. Ratelband replied that his parents are dead. According to the Dutch newspaper Algemeen Dagblad, the court is skeptical of Ratelband’s case, as there is obviously no legal precedent.