Thanks to Us Weekly, we now know 25 things about Bobby Cannavale. We know that he loves eating a bowl of cereal every night and sitting in his car during alternate-side street parking days. We know that he watched last year’s Super Bowl with Bruce Springsteen. We also know, as we have always known, and will know in perpetuity, that Bobby Cannavale is an extremely attractive man.
While the Cut has previously discussed the men we find Totally Kind of Hot in depth, we took a firmer stance on here. Please join us as we unpack our shared affinity for Bobby Cannavale.
Gabriella Paiella, senior writer: Hello everyone. Let’s start off like we always do: When did you realize that Bobby Cannavale is objectively a sex symbol? For me, it was Boardwalk Empire. He he played Gyp Rosetti, a 1920s goombah who was also super into auto-erotic asphyxiation. Related, I can’t believe I watched all of Boardwalk Empire.
Emilia Petrarca, fashion news writer: It was also Boardwalk Empire for me! I also can’t believe I watched all of it.
Lisa Ryan, senior writer: I’m not going to lie … I was attracted to him back when he was on Will & Grace. But I was young and dumb so it didn’t really turn into a full-fledged crush until the Boardwalk days.
Kelly Conaboy, writer-at-large: For me it was at whatever age I watched the 2003 film The Station Agent, a movie that I will love and remember forever. Probably age 16 or 17.
Katie Heaney, senior health writer: I enjoyed him as Will’s boyfriend.
Allison P. Davis, senior writer: Will & Grace, season six.
EP: But I’d like to remind the chat that he was the funky spunk guy from Sex and the City.
GP: Funky Spunk Guy!!!
KC: The funky spunk.
EP: All objectively hot men have played The Bad Men on SATC. Bradley Cooper, Justin Theroux.
APD: Only with Bobby would funky spunk be something to “work on” instead of an immediate dealbreaker.
I also really enjoyed him in a failed 2009 network show, Cupid. He played Cupid, but urban. Wore suits, helped people fall in love, etc etc.
KC: That sounds just like him. It surprised me in his 25 things to know about me that he confessed he does not like dressing up, because of how handsome he is in a suit.
EP: I used to think he was very well dressed until … I saw him in a newsboy cap.
LR: Oh no!
KC: Oh no.
EP: It was really devastating. I saw him in this play called The Hairy Ape. Where he plays the hairy ape.
APD: Again, things that SHOULD be deal breakers, but on Bobby … okay!
LR: Maybe this is off topic, but I’d really like to just sit on a park bench and eat a sandwich with him. I can think of nothing more erotic.
GP: That’s a good point Lisa, what activity would you most want to do with Bobby?
KC: I’d like to take a road trip with him; I feel like he would be a very safe and confident driver and good to chat with.
KH: As with all large men, I would simply like for him to carry me from point A to point B, as if I were a baby. But no funny business.
APD: My thing with Bobby is that he seems so sleazy, but IMDb describes him as someone with a heart of gold and a very strong work ethic. So I think I’d like to do something called the Reverse Star Is Born. Take him to a cop bar, start a fight, have him defend me, wrap his hand in frozen peas, and make out in a parking lot.
KC: That actually is what also I would like to change mine to.
GP: I want to make spaghetti with him and have him lift a single strand to my mouth and ask me if it’s cooked perfectly al dente.
EP: Ugh ditto to spaghetti except make it meatballs and he shows me how to make the perfect ball.
APD: If his meatballs were bad? If his sauce was always too acidic, would you still love him? I mean we all forgave him for Vinyl…
KC: I can’t imagine that he would make a bad meatball.
LR: I imagine him in an apron asking me to taste the sauce with a spoon, and he’s wearing a white tank and ripped but tight jeans.
APD: TOO FAR. SORRY.
GP: Come to think of it, all of my associations with him are pasta-related. To me, he has the aura of a jar of marinara sauce.
KC: I’d also like him to give me career advice that is mostly complimenting me and assuring me that it’s going to be okay.
LR: I also loved when he won that award that one time and thanked Rose Byrne and called her the love of his life. They are such an attractive couple, and I love that they love being attractive together.
EP: He seems like a good dad.
APD: Nothing makes me hornier than when hot men are worshipful of their hotter, talented wives.
EP: I like when he doesn’t shave his beard.
KH: He’s with Rose Byrne?!!!!!
APD: I have a question that might make me seem like a bit of a doubting Thomas but, we’re in Post-DJ-Khaled-Doesn’t-Go-Down-on-His-Wife times. We have to check. Where do we think Bobby stands?
EP: I think he really, really loves his hot wife.
KC: He seems very in tune with his art so I bet he does it enthusiastically.
I at least want to believe.
LR: Bobby seems very generous.
GP: I’m sorry, I got distracted scrolling through photos of him on Getty. Okay, on three, everyone say your favorite thing about Bobby Cannavale.
LR: Gaby, it’s really rude to make us pick our favorite thing. Although I guess he did pick his favorite child in Us Weekly, so we should be able to do this.
KC: My favorite thing is his heart!!!!!!!!!
EP: His voice!!!
APD: I was gonna say VOICE, but now it’s his hairy ass chest and abs. He hath turned me into pure horny id.
GP: Mine is his sensual spaghetti-sauce aura.
LR: He has beautiful eyes that stare deep into your soul and see you for all that you are, and all that you aren’t.
LR: Is that his adult son? (It is.)
KC: I wonder if we can marry his son.
EP: Good q.
GP: Final Bobby thoughts?
Callie Beusman, news editor: I am not as into him as everyone else, but feel free to note that I was chastised by Zazzle for using his face on an erotic mug I tried to give my friend for Christmas.
KH: I’m learning a lot today. As you know my main understanding of Bobby Cannavale’s appeal was his large sexualness. But it seems more layered than that.
APD: God love a big man tho.
EP: I would also like to add that Bobby Cannavale is talented.