You Call This a Fat Dog???

A woman and Bopper.
Bopper (right). Photo: Gables Farm/Just Giving

I love and respect dogs of all shapes and sizes. I also love and respect truth-telling and integrity. Which is why I must stand up today and say, even if it’s not the most popular of opinions: Britain’s “fattest dog” doesn’t look that fat.

The BBC reports that Bopper, an 11-year-old Border collie, is currently living with the owners of Gables Farm Dogs and Cats Home shelter “as he is too big to fit comfortably in his kennel.” He currently weighs in at 50 kilograms, or 110 pounds, or 8 stone (which I refuse to recognize as a unit of measurement).

“I could not believe what I saw when he walked in,” shelter manager Ruth Rickard told the press. “I could not believe how huge he was.” Respectfully, ma’am, I’ve seen fatter. I am not impressed by this dog’s girth.

Bopper’s currently on a diet in an attempt to lose half his body weight, which would put him at a healthy size for a dog of his breed. And while I support Bopper’s quest for wellness, along with everything else he might want to do with his life, I just have one question: Can I sign off for Thanksgiving break yet?

You Call This a Fat Dog???