Much was said about graphic t-shirts worn by male celebrities like Justin Bieber, John Mayer, and Jonah Hill in 2018. Blinded by tie-dye and Hawaiian prints, I was often guilty of such blabber. But as 2018 comes to an end, I’m wishing I’d paid more attention to the graphic tees worn by a different celebrity: Kristen Stewart.
The 28-year-old actress has been wearing a rotation of loud graphic t-shirts for years, and generously lending them to her various girlfriends. Stewart is an example of someone who knows exactly who she is, what music she likes, and how to express that through clothing. Her t-shirts sum up her celebrity existence: they simultaneously ask you to look, and then give you the middle finger when you do.
Kristen Stewart doesn’t care if you’re watching; she does what she wants. She takes her heels off on red carpets, going barefoot instead. She wears jorts with Chanel, or jorts with high-waisted underwear peaking out. And yes, she was even wearing low-rise jeans long before the internet started talking about them again. Her t-shirts are equally D.G.A.F. They often seem aimed at paparazzi and writers like myself, mocking our attempt to ascribe any meaning to them. Still, they are clearly a provocation, and we can’t look away.
Below, an abridged reading of what Kristen Stewart’s t-shirts said in 2018.
Life Is Chaos But T-Shirts Are Constant
Stewart wore this shirt multiple times in 2017 while out and about with her last girlfriend, model Stella Maxwell. She wore it again this year with an incredible pairing of Thrasher booty shorts and bike spandex underneath. At first glance, it reads like a statement about the state of Stewart’s wardrobe and the world: Chaos. (Well, okay, kaos.) But on the back is the word “Control,” meaning it’s actually a reference to the 60s television show Get Smart. (CONTROL and KAOS were the show’s two battling spy agencies.) Funnily enough, Get Smart’s main character’s name is Maxwell. Plus, the word ‘kaos’ apparently translates to ‘t-shirt’ in Indonesian. The plot thickens.
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Kristen Stewart’s “Emo Nite” t-shirt is another one she’s rocked for years. She was photographed wearing it once more in February, while running some errands with Stella Maxwell. You might see it as a reflection of her emotional state, but Emo Nite is actually a touring musical event started by three friends in Los Angeles for people who “share a love of emo rock.” So it’s a lifestyle.
Boys Don’t Matter
This one is pretty self-explanatory.
We All Contain Multitudes
Again, K.Stew has worn her “My Other Body’s In the Shop” t-shirt before, but they way she styled it in November — with revealing short shorts rolled to be even more low-rise and slide sandals — is so good it might inspire an “out of body” experience.
She Has the Best T-Shirts
I mean, the evidence is right there.
End of Discussion
Over the holiday, Kristen Stewart’s t-shirts worked harder than anyone else. There’ve been rumors that the actress is now dating stylist Sara Dinkin, as the two have been photographed together a lot lately. Whether or not this is true, their union is a match made in t-shirt-heaven. Dinkin has already worn Stewart’s shirts on more than one occasion, including the “Girls” t-shirt (above), and seems to have a pretty good collection herself. But the Beastie Boys shirt that Stewart wore on Christmas Eve says everything you need to know.
