At Last, the Top Dog Names of 2018

This dog’s name is NOT Pennywise. Photo: Gandee Vasan/Getty Images

Does your dog have one of the top dog names of 2018? Do you want your dog to have one of the top dog names of 2018? These are questions you’ll have to answer for yourself. I don’t know your dog’s name, nor do I have any information about your inner desires. A question I can answer for you, however, is “what were the most popular dog names of 2018,” because Rover — a dog-walking and babysitting, etc., business — has collected them somewhat mysteriously, through use of their “database of over a million dogs.”

Before we get to the names, though, I’ll tell you that use of the name “Pennywise” went up by 500 percent. Who did that? Was it you? Please tell the truth. Did you obtain a sweet dog who never did anything wrong in his whole life and name him “Pennywise” in the year 2018? This is disappointing. But I suppose it takes all kinds.

I see also that Thanos is up 215 percent, and that it is a front-runner for “villain names to watch in 2019.” Are you out there naming your dog Thanos? I must insist that you cease. Your dog is a sweetie with a gentle heart; he is not set out to kill “half of all living things,” which in practice only seemed to mean half of all sentient life. He is not Thanos. He is a nice boy, like maybe you want to name him “Beans,” which is one of the top brunch-related names of 2018. Or maybe you want to name him “Kelly,” which works for a boy or a girl and for some reason did not show up on any of the top dog name lists.

Anyway here are the top names for boys:

1. Max 

2. Charlie  

3. Cooper   

4. Buddy 

5. Jack 

6. Rocky

7. Duke

8. Bear

9. Tucker

10. Oliver 

This checks out, as my downstairs-neighbor’s dog is named “Max,” and that is one of the top dogs I come into contact with daily. And for the girls (women)?

1. Bella

2. Lucy

3. Luna

4. Daisy

5. Lola

6. Sadie

7. Molly

8. Bailey

9. Maggie

10. Stella

Beautiful. Bella Thorn, Lucy from Peanuts, Luna the name of Jia Tolentino’s dog, Daisy from Star Wars, Lola the song, Sadie also the song, Molly as in Molly Fisher from the Cut, Bailey as in Bailey’s Irish Cream, Maggie as my cousin Maggie, and Stella as in my boss. A beautiful set of names, all of which are, of course, much better than “Pennywise,” which is at once the name of a scary clown and a terrible band.

At Last, the Top Dog Names of 2018