Ted Cruz’s Beard Is Only Growing Stronger

Ted Cruz.
Ted Cruz. Photo:

Two weeks ago, a startling image appeared on Twitter: “Beautiful” Ted Cruz, growing the beginning of a beard. There wasn’t much hair on his face, just a light smattering of scruff that barely cast a shadow. We offered some theories as to why he might be making this decision, but were never able to definitively determine his motive. And now, we’re left to ponder even more, as Ted’s beard develops, growing from stubble to full-on statement.

Analyzing the beard in hopes for some clues yielded few results. It extends all the way back to the Senator’s ears, and down his neck, generally avoiding the area around his mouth. It doesn’t seem like it’s particularly groomed or shaped, rather just growing wherever it sprouts and left unattended. It’s not that thick, and thins out nearly entirely on his chin. Overall, it’s just an “okay” beard.

There was the hope that Ted had just joined in the #NoShaveNovember movement, and that the beard would disappear by December. But we’re five days in and the salt-and-pepper face accessory is still there, accompanying the Senator throughout his daily business in Washington, D.C.

Unfortunately with all the new follicles, we’ve come no closer to any answers. Why is Ted doing this? Why? Was the beard a decision he came to on his own? Is he getting style tips from someone? Does he put any special beard product in? Has he gotten little bits of food stuck in it, and gone hours without noticing, only to have an uncomfortable aide point out that he’s got a few crumbs on his face before he goes to meet with other members of the GOP?

Representatives for the Senator did not immediately return request for comment.

Ted Cruz’s Beard Is Only Growing Stronger