What makes a good blind item? For the uninitiated: Blind items are potentially true, potentially false bits of gossip in which the identities of the celebrities involved are not disclosed. After reading, uh, way too many of them this year, I have determined that the most satisfying blind is one that’s a little silly. I find myself scrolling past the items about substance abuse and divorce (according to the blinds, every celebrity is on drugs and also getting divorced) until I find something that’s a bit zanier.
Of the hundreds (thousands?) of blinds I read this year, a few really lodged themselves into my brain, and now, I present them to you. They involve truly exemplary celebrity behavior like “having sex in public bathrooms” and “putting a significant other’s clothes through a paper shredder.”
Some blind item writers, like the anonymous Enty at Crazy Days and Nights, eventually “reveal” the identities of the celebrities in their blinds, but I won’t list any of the reveals here, as I can’t guarantee their veracity. (Celebrity publicists never comment on blind items, for fear of legitimizing the medium.) But please let me know who you think these rumors refer to — the best part is the guessing!
These are the blind items I can’t stop thinking about:
The One About a Very Important Tradition
“It must be some kind of tradition between them, but once again, this A-list mostly movie actor hooked up with his wife in a restroom during the after party of a premiere. They do rotate the city though, so you never know which one it will be. They aren’t shy about talking about it either.”
—Crazy Days and Nights, December 2018
Yes! This is what celebrities should be doing: Having sex in public bathrooms and then talking about it. Since I read this one, I have been searching movie premiere photos from November and December, looking for this special couple, and I think I have found them. A hint: As classic oversharers, they are both very active on social media.
The One About a Silent Dinner Date
“We were seated near them. He’s attractive, but she is gorgeous. The weird thing is that apart from ordering, they never actually spoke to each other! They both spent the entire meal on their phones! It looked like he was watching a movie and she was texting back and forth with someone else. They didn’t seem angry with each other, just really disinterested.”
—Blind Gossip, September 2018
Watching a movie on your phone at dinner! I didn’t know that was an option. This could be about any number of current celebrity couples, but my guess is that it refers to an actor who will be on the awards circuit this season. What I’m dying to know, still, is what movie he chose to watch during the date. Or maybe it was a football game?
The One About a Paper Shredder
“This former A-list mostly television actress from back in the day who is doing reality now split with a boyfriend a few months ago after she put some of his clothes through a paper shredder before the shredder broke. She then put a bunch in an oven to set them on fire. Why? He said she was crazy. She said I will show you crazy.”
—Crazy Days and Nights, October 2018
I can’t stop thinking about the mechanics of this. Have you ever tried to put non-paper items through a paper shredder? I don’t even have a printer, so the idea of having a paper shredder is funny to me, but I guess celebrities need them to do things like shred contracts and tax documents. Anyway, I pray to God that this story is true and that we will see at least some part of it on the upcoming reboot of a classic MTV reality show.
The One About Getting Ghosted on Raya
Occasionally, celebrities will provide their own blind items to the press, and I have to say, these are usually the best. During an appearance on The Late Show With James Corden in November, Busy Philipps revealed that 22-year-old Netflix heartthrob Noah Centineo ghosted one of her friends on Raya. “He was kind of chatting with a friend of mine but then he ghosted her,” she said. “[She is] one of my writers on my show.”
It’s so nice when celebrities confirm what you think about other celebrities. Of course Noah Centineo is ghosting people on Raya! What else would he be doing?
Do you have any favorite blind items from this year? Please do send them to me, along with your guesses.