i want to believe

This Candle Is Going to Make Me So Rich

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It is perhaps inefficient to spend money on a candle that, when lit, is supposed to make me money, but I like to do it from time to time anyway. My magic candle dealer is Enchantments, an occult and witchcraft supply store in the East Village, and typically I spend between $4 and $40 on candles on my trips there. The smallest tea candles cost a dollar, and there are bigger pillar candles for like $20, and there are also these sets of medium-size candles that have been pre-etched with runes for their designated effects, like “Success in a Court Case” or “Letting Go of a Breakup,” and are stapled with instructions for making these things come true. They’re extremely cute, and a very nice gift, in my opinion. But when I’m shopping for myself, the candle I get most often is green, for money.

All the different colors of candles stand for different things, and green candles are associated with matters related to work and money, like career success and creativity and abundance. When you light one, you’re supposed to imbue it with your intentions by thinking about what you want it to bring you. (I know all this because I once took a magic candle class there, ha.) And I kind of think the green ones, in particular, seem to work? One time my friend and I brought a green money candle on a writing retreat, and by the end of the weekend we’d sold our book proposal. We’d been working on it for months, and already had an editor interested, but still. I really feel like the candle helped. Maybe it doesn’t so much create money from nothing as rearrange your attention to it, or reinvigorate your determination to make it. Maybe there is something about thinking specifically about the one part of your life you want to improve that makes you better able to see the opportunities for doing so when they arise. Or maybe it is literal witchcraft! Ahhh, that would be cool.

Anyway, when I brought my green candle home this time around, I decided to carve my work teammates’ names into it also, which made me feel extremely generous. Usually, you want to carve your name and your zodiac sign into your candle, as well as any relevant runes, and it’s probably better to have one candle per person (just to, like, focus the energy, or something), but the whole point here was that I didn’t have a ton of money lying around, so Melissa and Edith can buy their own freaking candles or be grateful I shared mine with them at all.

SO, I lit the candle, held my hands over it, and pictured enormous financial success for all three of us. I let it burn all the way down, and then, a day later, I checked in with my co-workers to see if they were rich yet.

Edith, are you rich yet?

“In a sense, yes,” she wrote. “I look back in horror at how much money I’ve spent in the past couple of weeks from being more exposed to the Strategist lately, and in response to a new loud/hot apartment. But I’m trying to put a stop to the bleeding. Your candle might have helped me with that. The candle maybe brought me to my senses, bringing an end to a profligate phase.”

See? This is that kind of heightened awareness I was talking about before. The day before the candle, Edith was spending money like there was no tomorrow. But the day after? She is rich with intentions to save.

Time to see how things shook out for Melissa.

Melissa, are you rich yet?

“I discovered I had a $20 Everlane credit, which I used as justification to buy a pricey sweater I did not need,” she wrote. Strangely, she seemed to view this as evidence that the candle did not make her money.

But when did Melissa discover that Everlane credit, eh? o_O

Okay, it turns out that it was the day before I lit the money candle. At first she thought it was the same day, and I was really excited, but it wasn’t. One has to wonder if the Universe knew that I would be lighting her that candle, and so sent her a gift card to a popular sustainable fashion brand, where she could buy a reasonably priced and durable sweater, in which she would go to work, where she would make money.

Great. But what about me?

Katie, are you rich yet?

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sort of. (It’s payday, today.)

This Candle Is Going to Make Me So Rich