Admittedly, I have never attended a billionaire’s party in the Hamptons, where celebrities and boat-shoed hedge-fund bros talk about their Ivy League days and snort lines of cocaine through rolled up hundred dollar bills, but I imagine the experience would fill me with the same kind of delight and confusion I felt reading this “Page Six” story about “Weekend Update” co-host Colin Jost and Scarlett Johansson’s recent date night.
The couple who, unlike this writer, have attended multiple billionaire bashes in the Hamptons, were out at Ralph Lauren’s Polo Bar recently and, well, you won’t believe what happened next. Per “Page Six”:
“Colin walked in, accidentally stepped on a woman’s foot and immediately apologized,” a spy told Page Six.
Whoa. What happened next?
“When he continued on to his table, the woman turned to her friend and said, ‘Colin Jost just stepped on my foot.’”
Amazing. Then what?
Jost was then escorted downstairs, where girlfriend ScarJo was waiting at a table with two other people.
How did Scarlett look?
“Scarlett was wearing a pink sweater with her hair up, glasses on and no makeup,” the spy added, noting that “she still looked better than every woman in the restaurant.”
Hm. That seems rude to every woman in the restaurant, who just wanted to enjoy an evening looking at old paintings of horses and sipping overpriced martinis without having their looks compared to an actress. No word on how Jost looked, but presumably it was “apologetic,” and “like a sentient Vineyard Vines fleece vest.”