golden years

Frankie Muniz Pulls Ultimate Retiree Power Move

Someone get this man a fanny pack. Photo: Matt Sayles/AP/REX/Shutterstock

Frankie Muniz is demonstrably not retired, but based on today’s Muniz News, you’d never know it. The former child actor, current host of Dancing With the Stars Juniors, and cat dad to a chaos agent has purchased an olive-oil shop with his fiancée, in an arrangement perfectly engineered for their Golden Years.

The evidence: Said shop lives in Scottsdale, Arizona, a certified, grade-A retirement city where a reported 28 percent of the population tops age 60. Furthermore, it’s called “Outrageous Olive Oils & Vinegars,” and while I cannot independently confirm this detail, I suspect all its signage has been done up in a zany typeface like this one.

The 32-year-old actor tells People that he and his partner, Paige Price, bought the store from its previous owner because they wanted, perhaps needed, a new couples’ activity to fill their spare time (which, without the old 9-to-5, is likely ample). “We had been customers at the store before and we just knew we liked the product and we wanted to do something together,” he said. “Now, it’s become our lives.” And yes, once you have finally broken free from the daily grind, the hobbies do sustain you. (I feel obligated to reiterate that Muniz remains gainfully employed in the entertainment industry.)

Muniz says he and Price have fallen into complementary step, she handling the inventory and social-media-related tasks, while he tackles logistics. Now, his schedule looks something like this:

My day this morning started at 6 a.m. getting up to go to Restaurant Depot to get products that we needed. Then I got here early to start filling bottles and to make sure all the shelves were stocked. We’re not just ordering product and putting it on the shelf. We bottle everything. We label the bottles. We seal everything. We do all that ourselves here in store. It’s a lot of work, but it’s really rewarding when people come in and rave about the product.

And with that, I rest my case. Frankie Muniz has pulled the ultimate retiree power move, and now he only requires a selection of calf-bracing socks to accent his sensible sandals.

I’m Extremely Jealous of Frankie Muniz’s Retiree Lifestyle