golden globes 2019

Joanna Newsom Is Looking Off-the-Charts Joanna Newsom on the Red Carpet

Joanna Newsome. Photo: Daniele Venturelli/WireImage/Getty Images

What would a fabric approximation of you look like? A corset made of fingers, perhaps, stiff from hours typing at a computer? A dress woven from your dog’s hair, because you talk about your dog so much and it makes everyone a little annoyed, and you know it does, but you just can’t help it because you love him so much. Some sort of … pottery pants, if you like pottery. A plain white shirt with a large hole burned right through the center, maybe, to signify your rightful and righteous anger. That would be a cool one, I have to say.

The fabric approximation of Joanna Newsom, however — the lovely, whimsical, wildly brilliant musician (and wife of host Andy Samberg) — is this heart-laden Rodarte gown that she wore to the Golden Globes. Romantic, calm, soft, flowing, with hair pieces that make her look like the beloved human queen of the forest animals. Oh my gosh. It is as if someone distilled Joanna Newsom to her pure, Joanna Newsom-y essence and wove it into a gown through some sort of fashion technology. Yes?

Newsom also appeared in a Rodarte ad campaign in January of last year, along with musicians Grimes, Kim Gordon, and Chloe x Halle, plus actors Hong Chau and Tessa Thompson. Here she is looking, once again, very much herself in an exceedingly calm and beautiful way:

Ah, if only our fabric approximations were as lovely!

(Mine is the dog-hair one.)

Joanna Newsom Looking Very Joanna Newsom on the Red Carpet