Late last night, while the East Coast and parts of the Midwest froze several times over, a bunch of Famouses congregated for one such Famous’s birthday: Kanye West, Kid Cudi, Pete Davidson, and Timothée Chalamet met at Nobu Malibu for Cudi’s birthday. (Kim Kardashian West was also there, because who better to trust with being the Instagram spouse than someone who knows their own angles?)
Timmy is an avowed Kid Cudi stan, Cudi and Kanye worked together on the album Kids See Ghosts, and Pete and Kanye have a long history of bonding and sometimes feuding with each other, mostly on social media, so the whole summit functioned as a three-degrees-of-separation for people your Supreme-loving little brother most definitely knows. While at dinner, they posed for photos, looked at phones, and talked about things. Stars, they’re just like us!
These photos, ostensibly taken at a private room within the pricey restaurant, will likely be framed and hung in the Smithsonian in the coming decades. They encapsulate so much of the past year in culture, compressed into just a few pixels. The only thing more telling would have been a video; sadly, no one — not even Kim — posted an Instagram Story about the encounter. As such, a few questions remain:
1. Why is there a Fiji water bottle on the table? Does Nobu offer you “Fiji or sparkling?” when you first sit down? Can someone who has been to Nobu Malibu confirm or deny this?
2. What is the orange liquid in the other wineglasses? Tequila sunrise? Screwdriver? My personal favorite beverage, the Gatorita? (It’s tequila and Gatorade, and it detoxes and retoxes simultaneously, do not @ me.) Plain, old-fashioned OJ? Pulp or no pulp?
3. What were they laughing about on Cudi’s phone? Pete’s dating profile? Wholesome memes? I love a wholesome meme, can you tag me next time?
4. What did they order for dinner? The only one pictured with a meal is Cudi, who sits happily behind a plate with something red on it. After a quick survey of the Nobu Malibu menu, it seems to be the Roasted King Crab with Uni, but it could also be a lobster? How famous do you have to be to order off-menu at Nobu Malibu? I bet North West is famous enough to ask for French fries … and get them.
5. Did Kid Cudi blow out a candle on his dessert bento box? It is extremely hard to tell what exactly they ordered for dessert, but if anyone has the bank account to ask for one of everything, it is this squad. Imagine being “one of everything at Nobu” rich. I can’t!
6. What would their summit name be? Davos, But Lit? (I presume Davos is not very lit.) Or is this a manner of Justice League and/or Avengers proportions, a meeting of superheroes that is at turns dark and brooding, and a sensory overload of bright colors?
7. Are they plotting to release a super album? Imagine: the return of Lil Timmy Tim, Pete providing comedic interludes that harken back to College Dropout, Kanye and Cudi elaborating on the collaborative effort that was Kids See Ghosts. (Just maybe avoid the floating stage boxes this time.)
8. Did Cudi have a good birthday? I hope so. He deserves it.