After an insufferable month-and-a-half, the nation of New Zealand is celebrating the long-desired departure of the drunken, rowdy British family who terrorized their community so extensively that the country issued them an official deportation order. Cheers!
The ten-plus-member family became nationally notorious during their extended stay on New Zealand territory, racking up a list of petty crimes and transgressions that included wantonly littering, then threatening locals when they were asked to clean up their trash (one of their crew, a boy who appeared to be around 9, told a woman he would “knock [her] brains out” after pouring chips onto her beach blanket); putting ants in their food in an attempt to get it for free, or simply dine-and-dashing; and stealing everything from cans of Red Bull to an entire Christmas tree from stores. And, as evidenced by their attempts to shield their faces from cameras and the deliberate lies they told the press about their identity, they clearly knew their undertakings were illegal. They just didn’t care.
Finally, New Zealanders will be able to sleep peacefully. On Tuesday afternoon, British time, the Daily Mail reports that the family packed up their luggage and headed to Auckland International Airport — but not before attempting to con one more can of Red Bull from a BP station owner.
“They had tried to distract me, but I recognized them as soon as they showed up and watched them carefully,” owner Linus Merchant told the Mail. “I think they realized I knew who they were and wasn’t going to play their games, so they left quickly.”
And, while the family successfully concealed their identities during their stay, the Mail appears to have identified the leaders of the group, who are reportedly from Liverpool: “family spokesman” Joe Doran, his wife, and Barbara Doran, the “clan matriarch.” The other family members, however, have not yet been named.
Anyway, congrats to New Zealand! And, uh, best of luck to Liverpool.