It is with a heavy heart and my two remaining brain cells that I must inform you that Curvy Wife Guy Robbie Tripp — the dude who bravely applauded himself for daring to be attracted to his extremely attractive wife, fashion blogger Sarah Tripp — is releasing a song which he describes as “The new curvy wife anthem.”
Lyrics from clips he posted to his Instagram story include:
Curves too sexy for a one-piece / She swallow that bikini like a G-string / 200 pounds, no flat tummy
Livin’ my best life, with my curvy wife / She keep me up at night / I’ma dunk that donk
Yes. Tripp — who, late last year threatened to sue Babe.net for a post in which they compared his book Create Rebellion to the Unabomber’s manifesto — is once again objectifying his wife for profit, and giving himself Good Guy points for doing so because the wife he’s objectifying happens to be… average-sized? Cool.
Still, as tiresome as Tripp’s whole routine is, even a broken clock is right twice a day, or however many times it reminds us to spend time taking flattering pictures of our partners. In an Instagram post this weekend, Tripp shared one good opinion in the caption of a picture of Sarah in a swimsuit:
“ATTENTION ALL BOYFRIENDS, HUSBANDS, SIGNIFICANT OTHERS: It’s 2019 and your girl deserves a fire shot for her Instagram!,” the post began.
“She’s a queen and you’re the one who’s responsible for capturing her beauty so you better wake up!” he continues. “If you don’t know her best angles and aren’t willing to take the bare minimum 100 photos before you get THE ONE, then you need to man up and get with the program my friend.”
Tripp, unfortunately, goes on to include phrases like, “she’s definitely not going to chuck the booty at you tonight,” and “positioning her just right so the light hits her left ass cheek perfectly.” Nonetheless, he makes one really great point, which is that we should all endeavor to take better pictures of the people we love, even if it takes 300 tries. Even better, take all those pictures, and then don’t use them to celebrate yourself for being courageous enough to get horny for your partner. It’s 2019. Your girl needs you. I believe you. Go out there and make it happen.