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The Office Assistant Who Feels Blessed to Be in New York

“I’m from the suburbs around Cleveland.” Photo: Kyle Dorosz

Shala Miller, Office Assistant and Artist

Where are you off to?
To Aesop, to get some soap for my office. I work for the Criterion Collection. It’s a very chichi sort of errand.

Did you grow up in the city?
Not even close. I’m from the suburbs around Cleveland. My mom tells me I shouldn’t talk bad about it, because it’s what made me me, or whatever. But the place is weird. Segregated. Plus I’m queer — and my mom is very God-fearing. So I feel very blessed to be here. Getting Aesop.

How’s it been, adjusting to New York?
You hear a lot of rough stories, but things have happened to me here that just feel special. Like a couple of months ago, I was helping someone move and the door on our U-Haul got stuck. All of a sudden, this totally full MTA bus pulled up, mid-route. The driver jumped out, got it unstuck, walked back onto the bus, and drove away.

How kind.
Yes. And around the same time, I met a witch at a Popeyes on Flatbush. Well, a retired witch, actually. She stopped pursuing it because this other coven was following her and trying to kill her. So she started studying for the LSAT instead. She thought I didn’t believe a word she was saying, but I did. I believed witches were out to get her. And that she’d probably be a lawyer, too, eventually.

Lightning Round

Neighborhood: Bed-Stuy.
Last movie: Hale County This Morning, This Evening.
Last book: “To completion? Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet.
Favorite meal: “French toast at Saraghina. With eggs.”

The Office Assistant Who Feels Blessed to Be in New York