valentine's day

15 Horny Beauty Products That Are Better Than Conversation Hearts

Photo: Courtesy of the Retailers

It’s Valentine’s Day, which means a lot of pink, red, sex, and love are in the air. Since those pastel candy hearts with the words on them no longer exist, consider treating yourself or someone else to a horny beauty product that speaks to your true, inner desires. There are the usual suspects, like NARS Orgasm, and NARS Super Orgasm, and NARS Climax, and NARS Deep Throat. But there are some non-NARS ones that are aroused, too! We once tried a face mask called Glow Job, which has the slimy consistency of something an excited unicorn might secrete.

Here, 15 more horny beauty products that have clearly been binge-reading Sex Diaries and can succinctly convey what you really want to say this Valentine’s Day.

The Vagina Ones

Urban Decay Eye Shadow in Snatch
Illamsqua Lipstick in Box
Smith & Cult Nail Polish in Pillow Pie

The Penis Ones

Too Faced Melted Matte Lipstick in Suck It
NARS Precision Lip Liner in Spunk
Smith & Cult The Shining Lip Lacquer in Milk for Hunny

The Excited Ones

OPI Is That a Spear In Your Pocket?
Oribe Rock Hard Gel
Floss Gloss Nail Lacquer in Wet
Illamasqua Glamour Lipstick in Soaked

The Ones Getting Down to Business

Flower Beauty Pop Fanatic Eye Shadow in Bang
Smith & Cult Nail Lacquer in Tang Bang
Fenty Beauty Mattemoiselle Plush Matte Lipstick in Spanked
Urban Decay Vice Lipstick in Double Team

And the One That’s Just Watching

M.A.C Eye Shadow in Smut

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15 Beauty Products That Are Extremely Aroused