Lactose intolerance is, if I may say so, a complete bitch. But when you’re Cardi B, not being able to have dairy can also be incredibly glamorous.
In an Instagram video on Thursday night, she (rightfully) lodged a complaint about the ways your body betrays you when you’re lactose intolerant, and showed off her fancy new way of drinking alternative milk.
“Bitch let me motherfuckin’ tell you how I can’t drink whole milk no more, you know what I’m saying?” she said in the video. “Because I’m lactose intolerant bitch, I drink whole milk and I’m fucking having diarrhea for three days motherfuckin’ straight, I’m farting up a storm … it’s just not working out. After you turn 22, your body starts motherfuckin’ changing.”
Enter: Lactaid milk.
Or, more specifically for Cardi, Lactaid milk in a bedazzled Lactaid bowl.
“So I drink Lactaid milk, and motherfuckers, look what they sent me!” she said while holding up a stone-encrusted bowl. “You know I made it when they send me a motherfuckin’ bedazzled bowl of cereal.”
She also went on to praise the “the perfect bowl,” extolling the virtues of its just-right size: “It’s not too much cereal, not too much milk, [it’s] balanced well.”
Leave it to Cardi B to make even lactose intolerance seem extremely glitzy while the rest of us are drinking our substitute milk options in sad old regular, plain bowls.
Or, as she succinctly put it, “You hoes ain’t eating your Honey Bunches of Oats like this!”