Replace Cupid With Ice-T

Ice-T and Cupid.
Ice-T and Cupid. Photo: Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images/Walter Crane/Sotheby’s

For decades, Valentine’s Day has been promoted by Cupid, a sometimes-cute, sometimes-creepy, baby angel with wings and a bow and arrow. And for the most part, that’s been fine. His baby body floated from hopeful lover to hopeful lover, shooting his little arrow of love into their bums. But maybe it’s time for someone new, someone fresher, someone less violent and more up with the times.

Maybe, it’s time for Ice-T.

He’s already been in training for the job, spreading messages of love for people who need it. On Valentine’s Day, he received 50 requests on Cameo, an app that lets people request personalized video messages from famous people. And guess what? He fulfilled some of those requests. (For $150 per video.)

According to “Page Six” he tweeted (and then deleted) about his new duties. “I woke up this morning to 50 Cameo requests … This shit is wild!! I guess Ice Cupid has some work to do today … lol,” he wrote. Even Ice T has suggestions for his new name as Valentine’s Day icon. (We can keep workshopping the names, Ice!)

It’s not clear how many message requests he actually filled, but we know that Ice-T made at least two Cameo videos. In the first, he said “Love is like a fart. If you push it too hard it’s probably shit.” When has Cupid and his little blond ringlets ever doled out such useful advice?

And unlike Cupid, who is a baby, Ice-T has actually been in a long-term, successful marriage with his wife Coco. Which means he can tell those who seek out his personalized video messages about the loving relationship he has, and how others can emulate it.

“Me and my wife, we celebrate Valentine’s Day every day,” he said. “There’s never a day that goes by that’s not good to tell your mate that you love ’em and show ’em how much you appreciate ’em.”

A man who treats every day like Valentine’s Day? There’s really no better candidate for the holiday’s new ambassador. Sorry Cupid.

Replace Cupid With Ice-T