Lady Gaga is wearing the Tiffany Diamond, the largest yellow diamond in the world, and I can’t breathe.
It was last worn by Audrey Hepburn to publicize Breakfast at Tiffany’s in 1961, and has only graced the neck of two — now three — women since it was mined in South Africa in 1877. The necklace totals over 100 karats and is “priceless,” according to the historic jeweler.
For many, this is news. But I’ve seen this baby before. Two months ago, as I often do when I’m feeling the “mean reds” — or just especially broke — I walked into the Tiffany flagship on Fifth Avenue and began to salivate. In the northwest corner, behind glass and watched over by a guard, was the largest diamond I had ever seen. I let him know that I just recently became a billionaire, and would like to buy it. He said it wasn’t for sale. Maybe he called my bluff because my iPhone screen was cracked. We’ll never know. (Unlike me, Lady Gaga is a Tiffany spokesperson, which I suppose explains how she got her access to it.)
But now the heart-stoppingly expensive rock is sitting on Gaga’s neck. I’m sweating so hard I had to remove a layer. Can you imagine the pressure of wearing that for an evening? How much does it weigh? Does her head hurt? And most importantly, will I ever get the chance to breathe on the diamond, without glass getting in our way?