Are you in a relationship where you have sex with another person? Great. That’s nice for you, if you’re into having sex with other people. Are you a little fuzzy on how to ask said other person if they’d like to have sex with you? Here’s a refresher. You ask them. You use words — spoken, typed, sky-written — and ask your partner if they are feeling likewise horny. If they consent … then you have sex. If they don’t, then you don’t. And you move along with your life. This is not hard. Particularly if you’re in a relationship where, ostensibly, you and your partner should, hopefully, have some sort of open line of communication about things like sex.
Or, or, I guess … you could contribute to this truly insane Kickstarter for a product called LoveSync. What is LoveSync? Let me stop screaming, screams the likes of which I have not experienced since stumbling upon the Kickstarter for the RompHim years ago, long enough to tell you. LoveSync is a two-button system where you and your partner each place a button on your respective bedside tables. If you’re looking to bone, you tap the button. (Users can select a window of time for which the tap will be active.) If your partner has also tapped the button, your respective buttons will both light up. If only one of you has tapped, no light notification. The draw here, according to LoveSync’s insane description, is that you won’t feel the sting of rejection or embarrassment should only one of you want to bang. It is, as one of my colleagues pointed out to me, essentially an IRL version of the nut button meme.
There’s something particularly funny about LoveSync’s explanation that you’ll be tapping your button “anonymously.” Which is likely supposed to mean you’re tapping “discreetly,” but instead sounds like the incoming sex request could be from anybody in the wide world.
For the low, early-bird price of $44 you can have your own set of sex buttons. But there’s also a free, low-tech version: a recent Reddit thread in the /r/sex sub where a user explained their “life hack” for initiating sex with their partner using a numerical system to convey horniness to each other. If these methods work for you, do you! But it also seems like a lot of effort and/or money to expend on what could be accomplished in the space of a sentence or two.
“May as well cut the middle man and get yourself a Staples ‘that was easy’ button,” one of my colleagues messaged me after I showed her the LoveSync Kickstarter. A not bad idea, but at $15 per on Amazon you’re almost, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, better off just buying the dumb sex buttons.