Wait, Elizabeth Holmes Is Engaged?

Photo: Courtesy of Twitter.

Elizabeth Holmes, 35, is reportedly engaged. Yes, the disgraced Theranos founder has proven that as long as you’re a conventionally attractive white woman with well-off and well-connected family and friends, you too can swindle investors out of hundreds of millions of dollars, and still find love, while largely avoiding the consequences of your actions. Inspiring!

Holme’s soon-to-be-husband is William “Billy” Evans, 27. Here’s what we know about him.

Surprise, he’s rich.
According to the Daily Mail, Evans is the heir to the Evans Hotel Group, which was founded by his grandparents William and Anne Evans in San Diego in 1953. Currently, the business has three resort properties on the West Coast.

Evans grew up in San Diego, and attended the prestigious Francis Parker School from kindergarten until his senior year of high school. He then went on to a get a Bachelor of Science in Economics from MIT, graduating in 2015.

He also worked in tech (until recently).
According to his LinkedIn profile, until January of this year, Evans was the manager of special projects for Luminar Technologies, a company that develops sensors for driverless cars. Previously, he worked for LinkedIn. His profile also says he is a member of the “Red Bull Alumni” group, which is closed, and of which I am not member, so I cannot tell you what it’s all about, but I assume it’s cool as hell.

He and Elizabeth seem very happy together.
Evans and Holmes currently live in a luxury apartment in San Francisco together and, per Vanity Fair:

She wears his M.I.T. signet ring on a necklace and the couple regularly post stories on Instagram professing their love for each other. She reliably looks “chirpy” and “chipper.”

Here are some pictures of the couple looking “chirpy”.

They go to Burning Man together.
As Theranos, the company she founded, was imploding in 2018, Holmes and Evans were on the playa at the Burning Man festival, Vanity Fair reports. She wore a white fur coat and purple sunglasses, he wore a weird little captain’s hat. Here they are:

And they co-own a dog.
Perhaps you remember the story of Balto, the Siberian husky Holmes adopted in 2017. After she discovered huskies genomes trace back an ancient wolf, she told everyone at Theranos that Balto was, actually, a wolf. She would bring the “wolf” into the Theranos headquarters, where he would pee and poop wherever his wild heart desired. Now, Evans co-owns him.

His fiancée faces up to 20 years in prison.
Alas, Holmes and Evans’s days of dancing on the playa and parenting Balto may be short-lived. After Theranos collapsed, Holmes was charged with massive fraud, indicted on nine counts of wire fraud, and conspiracy to commit wire fraud. She and the company’s former chief operating officer (and her ex), Ramesh “Sunny” Balwani face fines of $250,000, plus restitution, for each charge of fraud and conspiracy, and up to 20 years in prison.

Neither the date of the trial, or of the wedding, are known at this time.

Wait, Elizabeth Holmes Is Engaged?