marriage: an investigation

The Secrets I Keep From My Spouse

They say you can never understand someone else’s marriage. But this week, New York Magazine and the Cut decided to try. We interrogated dozens of couples (and a throuple) to see what makes their marriages work — or not.

“My husband doesn’t know that I’m a binge eater. When he’s on work trips or gone for several hours, I eat until I’m sick to my stomach. He knows I go to therapy, but he doesn’t know it focuses on my eating disorder.” —Carrie, 40, married eight years

“I lied to my husband about how much our wedding cost. It cost close to six figures. He thinks it cost half that.” —Panos, 39, married two years

“I literally have no idea what my husband does for a living. Something with computers.” —Nava, 38, married two years

“I don’t tell my husband how many pregnancy tests I take each month. We’ve been trying to get pregnant for two years, and I take the tests compulsively.” —Andrea, 33, married seven years

“I pretend I have a seven-day period so I can avoid sex a little longer.” —Alexa, 30, married two years

“I misplaced my wedding band. It’s been a month, and I have no clue where it is.” —Beau, 30, married one year

“My wife knows I had an affair, but doesn’t know how much I loved the woman I cheated on her with.” —Anton, 43, married five years

“I’ve always stolen small amounts of cash from my husband and hidden it. I once got up to $1,300 and bought a couch.” —Laurel, 65, married 40 years

“I was microdosing mushrooms for a while last year.” —Noah, 35, married eight years

“I refuse to tell my husband the details of my threesome. I won’t say who it was with, or when it was, other than it was before we met.” —Dana, 43, married six years

“I stalk my wife’s emails, texts, and bank account. On some days I follow her every move.” —Vincent, 60, married 18 years

“His teeth make me sick. They are yellow and patchy.” —Jill, 39, married 11 years

“I buy and sell things on eBay all night while she’s sleeping.” —Avi, 35, married six years

“When we met, I told my mother and sister and all my friends about his big penis.” —Carolina, 55, married 20 years

“Early in our relationship, my husband and I were looking at old photos and he said I looked different. He asked if I’d had a nose job. I flat-out denied it. I wanted him to think I was born this cute.” —Erica, 41, married four years

“I despise my wife’s mother.” —Jeff, 50, married 12 years

*This article appears in the April 1, 2019, issue of New York Magazine. Subscribe Now!

Secrets I Keep From My Spouse