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The Comedian Whose Karaoke Song Is ‘Goldfinger’

Meet Peter Smith.

Photo: Shaniqwa Jarvis
Photo: Shaniqwa Jarvis

Peter Smith has a deliciously deadpan voice, like a Kardashian mixed with Draco Malfoy. With a voice like that, naturally they’re a performer — a comedian, cabaret singer, and an actor. “I guess you could call me a triple threat,” they told the Cut. When Smith first moved to New York, they started as an assistant to a painter and did art direction for Kanye West. Ultimately, they moved into performing professionally. We spoke with them about Versailles, Groundhog Day, and Wrangler jeans.

Photo: Shaniqwa Jarvis

What’s your most-used emoji?
The side-face one that’s kind of wonky. It’s major in my life right now. And the blonde woman with her hands like this [holds up hands]. We have the same haircut.

What’s your favorite holiday?
I just shot a documentary about Groundhog Day over the weekend, and I love Groundhog Day.

If you could spend three months anywhere, where would it be?
I think I would live at Versailles. Like, hosting local dudes in big beds and pissing in the stairwell and fountains.

If you could have a superpower, which would it be?
I guess I would say flying because then I wouldn’t have to come down.

What’s the best album ever made?
The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. It was also the first one that I ever bought.

What’s your go-to karaoke song?
“Goldfinger” by Shirley Bassie.

Who do you think is cool?
My roommate Sandy Honig.

What fictional character would you love to hang out with?
Fictional characters are hard because a real person made them up, so you’re dealing with that person too. Maybe Whoopi Goldberg’s character in Sister Act.

If you could be a magazine, what magazine would you be?
Do you remember Gourmet magazine? I always thought that was chic.

If you could speak to animals, which animals would you want to talk to?
Mice. It worked for Cinderella.

Jeans or sweats?
Wrangler jeans.

What’s something your social media followers don’t know about you?
A lot, I’m not very forthcoming. Some have seen me in a comedy club, some met me stripping to George Michael, some met me in diapers. But I bet the majority doesn’t know that stripping has paid my rent.

What was the last website you looked at?
I looked at the website of this town in upstate New York that’s filled with a bunch of psychics and mediums. Lilydale, New York.

If you could be outfitted by one designer for the rest of your life, who would it be?
The costume designer Adrian knew how to grab a waist. But Shane Gabier and Chris Peters of Creatures of the Wind and CDLM. I’ve known Shane since I was 14 and their brains are perfect to me.

What do you eat for breakfast?
Some kind of powder or seed that ends up being blended with water.

If you could only eat three things for the rest of your life, what would they be?
Oreos, dan dan noodles, and in Chicago there’s a place called Johnny’s, and I’d get their Italian beef sandwich dipped with hot giardiniera.

If you were a color, what would it be?
Ocher, umber — one of those clay colors. I’m an earth sign.

Peter wears a Dries van Noten coat, Isabel Marant men’s jeans, and an Omega watch.

The Comedian Whose Karaoke Song Is ‘Goldfinger’