you know what i heard

What Is Going on With Prince William and That Marchioness, Hmm?

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Much of the royal gossip in the last few months has focused on the alleged antics of the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle. But could it be that the real drama has been playing out in the English countryside, far away from our beloved Markle, this whole time? Based on a pair of stories to come out of the British press this week, it certainly seems that way. Let’s get into it.

The British tabloid The Sun published an exclusive report over the weekend about an alleged “feud” between the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, and a former model named Rose Hanbury, who is now the Marchioness of Cholmondeley. The Marchioness of Cholmondeley! Yes, that’s her. And her husband, the Marquess of Cholmondeley, is named David Rocksavage. We’re going to get even more ridiculously British now, so hang in there with me: Rose and David are the unofficial leaders of the so-called “Turnip Toffs,” a group of obscenely wealthy society people who live in Norfolk. The couple has a mansion three miles down the road from Prince William and Kate’s country home, Anmer Hall. Will, Kate, Rose, and David have all been very friendly and used to double date, according to The Sun. But now — for some unknown reason — Kate reportedly wants to kick her “rural rival,” Rose, out of the club.

“It is well known that Kate and Rose have had a terrible falling out,” a source told The Sun. “They used to be close but that is not the case any more.” The source added that Kate has told Will that “Rose needs to be ‘phased out’ as one of the ­couple’s closest confidantes.”

What caused this terrible falling out? The Sun didn’t say. And sources connected to Will and Kate immediately went to reporter Richard Kay at the Daily Mail to say that both couples have “considered legal action” over the The Sun’s report. If Will and Kate are that upset over a report about a falling out, I’d guess that they are concerned with keeping whatever led to that falling out secret. One theory? Lainey Lui of Lainey Gossip wrote yesterday that “rumours of an affair between Will and Rose have been simmering. For days, people have been whispering about the possibility, but no one wanted to say it out loud.” And then, a British reporter named Giles Coren tweeted and quickly deleted that “everyone knows about the affair.”

Of course, there is no evidence at this time that the rumors are valid. And Will and Kate will probably never comment on them. But that would be something, wouldn’t it?

Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, Emma Roberts (niece of Julia) has apparently dumped a television actor for a movie star. Us Weekly reported last week that she has ended her multiyear, on-and-off (and, uh, dramatic) relationship with Evan Peters and has taken up with Garrett Hedlund. How did that happen? So far, no one knows, but the Roberts–Hedlund connection is apparently pretty new. A source told E! News, “They have gone on a few casual dates and are exploring a relationship, but it is definitely not anything serious yet.”

Photo: Getty Images

The cause of Roberts and Peters’ breakup has yet to be determined, but their relationship has struggled over the past couple of years. Do you remember Roberts’s alleged involvement in the breakup of Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen?

In October of 2017, tabloids and gossip sites, including the Blast and Us Weekly, reported that Bilson broke up with Christensen, her partner of a decade, after finding suspicious text messages from Roberts on Christensen’s phone. (Roberts and Christensen starred in the truly miserable pizza rom-com Little Italy together.) At the time, Us Weekly noted that Roberts was still with Peters, but the scandal probably wasn’t great for them.

Photo: Michael Buckner/Getty Images

Hedlund, meanwhile, has been single for a bit: He broke up with his most serious girlfriend, Kirsten Dunst, three years ago. Dunst is now very happy with Landry from Friday Night Lights.

One small blessing from this week:

Jessica Simpson finally had her (almost 11-pound!) baby, Birdie.

And here’s an interesting blind item from this week, care of Enty at Crazy Days and Nights:

“This A- list model and her husband are embroiled in a legal controversy right now. The thing is though, apparently neither are very good about reporting their income to the IRS and are afraid this will bring it to the light.”

Pay your rent, guys.

Finally, I’ll leave you with some gossip history, delivered this week by retiring NBA player Kris Humphries. Humphries wrote a nice, considered essay about his time in the league and the thing that he unfortunately came to be famous for: his 72-day marriage to Kim Kardashian. The whole thing is worth a read, but here’s what he said about Kardashian, specifically.

Photo: Adam Taylor/ABC via Getty Images

“Look, I should have known what I was getting into,” he wrote. “I was definitely naive about how much my life was going to change. But the one thing that really bothers me is whenever people say that my marriage was fake. There’s definitely a lot about that world that is not entirely real. But our actual relationship was 100% real. When it was clear that it wasn’t working … what can I say? It sucked.”

I never thought I’d say this, but: Poor Kris Humphries! Let’s all go back and watch the two-part E! special, Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event, this weekend.

Thanks so much for gossiping, and don’t forget to send me a message on Twitter, or contact me on Signal, if you’d like to chat.

What Is Going on With Prince William and That Marchioness?