“Black hole sun, won’t you come?” Soundgarden asked that question in 1994, which is a pity. If they’d only asked “Black hole photograph, won’t you come?” the answer would have been “Yes, on April 10, 2019.” Ah, well.
Astronomers revealed today the first-ever image of a black hole (or, its event horizon, technically), and it looks like a glow doughnut. This terrifying space abyss, from which not even light can escape, exists at the center of the Messier 87 galaxy, 55 million light years from Earth, and she is pretty and I like her. Take me, hole!
Of course, we all love the black hole; it terrifies us deeply and has at least momentarily given us a sense of perspective and awe. Because we love her, we want to share her (the hole) with our friends via email using, of course, a funny joke subject line, and then the body of the email is just a link to the story. But what will our funny joke subject line be?
To be of service, we’ve put together a few funny joke subject lines for you to choose from.
• They found your brain
• pic of your love life going around :(
• LOL oh no … is this your apt?
• Scientists released pic of your boyfriend for first time
• I loved this story about [PERSON YOU DISLIKE’S NEW PROJECT]
• Wow — scientists finally got a pic of your twitter presence
• Got this baby photo of you from mom, not sure if you’ve seen?
• 1st ever pic of my career
• OMG did you know NYT had a pic of your brain???
• TFW you’re a hole in outer space 😂
• uh-oh … you’ve been canceled
• Interesting article about [PERSON YOU DISLIKE]’s Instagram stories
• omg this is so rude … did you even know they took this pic of what it feels like to have a conversation with you??
• Astronomers take 1st ever pic of hanging out with people who work in NYC media
• Astronomers take 1st ever pic of hanging out with your boyfriend’s friends
• Astronomers take 1st ever pic of getting coffee with an acquaintance
• Astronomers take 1st ever pic of when your bad date orders another glass of wine without consulting you and now you gotta just sit there for a whole other glass of wine
• seems like yr ex-boyfriend’s modeling career is taking off
• Loved this ep of your podcast
• Loved this edition of your newsletter
• Loved this twitter thread — it’s actually really interesting?
• pic of your face in the news