Please, can you spare a moment for Diane Keaton’s pants? She would REALLY like to tell you about them, and there is so much to say. These pants may look like your standard wide-legged flare, wrenched right out of a ’90s rave, but listen: These pants can do anything and everything.
It all started on Sunday, when Keaton penned a spirited, ALL CAPS pants appreciation Instagram post, running through the full gamut of occasions for which her wide-leg jeans are perfect. Spoiler, it’s all occasions:
REGARDING THESE PANTS: THIS IS SERIOUSLY TRUE. I WORE THEM ON THE PLANE. I WORE THEM IN THE HOTEL DUPONT. I WORE THEM IN THE DELAWARE ART MUSEUM. I WORE THEM ON A LONG WALK THROUGH THE WILMINGTON STREETS. I’M WEARING THEM ON THE TRAIN TO NYC. I’VE NEVER RECEIVED MORE COMPLIMENTS ON ANYTHING I’VE EVER WORN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
The pants became the envy of almost everyone who stumbled into her thirst trap, including a number of her famous peers. “WHO MAKES THEM???” Gwyneth Paltrow reportedly scream-commented, her question immediately echoed by Jennifer Garner. Debra Messing, meanwhile, effused over the pockets. Tracee Ellis Ross, a style icon who could wear the hell out of these pants, called Keaton her hero.
Finally, on Thursday, the 73-year-old trendsetter announced in a follow-up post (#notanad) that her “GENIUS,” “BOMB” pants come from Maison Margiela. Unfortunately, I’m not seeing them on the website, but a similar pair of wide-leg Margiela jeans goes for $475.
And yes, as one nitpicky commenter pointed out, Keaton’s miracle pants are in fact jeans, albeit very fancy jeans. Personally, I think quibbling over that distinction misses the larger point, which is that these pants — especially paired with a scammer turtleneck, Keaton’s Babadook hat (???), some kind of platform work boot, and a grommet belt for a semi-Western, cowboy-whispering look — are perfect. These pants will take you seamlessly from day to night, and from 2019 to 1996 because these pants are basically just JNCOs. (RIP.) These pants will take you from plane to train to Old Town Road. I mean just look at those thigh-length pockets, there’s so much room for the horses in the back.