oh no

Burning Man Suffers Greatest Indignity Yet

Uh-oh. Photo: Getty Images

Burning Man, the annual desert festival dedicated to spandex, party drugs, and radical self-expression, has suffered its fair share of indignities. Its attendees have included former Thinx “She-E-O” Miki Agrawal, who handed out her breast milk to make lattes one year; disgraced Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes and her fiancé, Billy Evans; Facebook founder and teeny-banged man Mark Zuckerberg; and a man I met at a party once who kept smelling my hair. But the festival may have just suffered its worst blow yet: Among its fans, it seems, is First Daughter Ivanka Trump.

According to a new profile in The Atlantic of Karlie Kloss’s sister-in-law, Ivanka’s White House office includes colorful construction paper taped to the wall by her desk that says “JOBS CZAR”, and on her coffee table is a book called Playa Fire, about Burning Man.

The book, per its Amazon description, is a “stunning visual and narrative homage — featuring more than 100 black & white and color photographs, many never before seen — that captures the wonder and metaphysical power of Burning Man past present, and future, and the magic that draws us to it, by the ultimate Burning Man insider.” All eight reviews of it are five stars, and one customer calls it, “The only book you need to understand and celebrate Burning Man.”

So, has Ivanka been to Burning Man? Has she donned galaxy-patterned spandex, traded grilled cheeses for neck massages, and danced in a silent disco before making her way — tentatively, excitedly — to the Orgy Dome? It’s unclear. There does not seem to be any record of her or her haunted-doll husband having been to the festival. Perhaps, as The Atlantic suggests, she simply dreams of going “to escape her name and stop wearing sheath dresses and sway to EDM on hour three of an acid trip.”

Whatever the case may be, this is an absolutely devastating blow to Burning Man. Hopefully Paris Hilton will still DJ there.

Ivanka Trump Is the Latest Indignity to Befall Burning Man