Again and again, human beings prove we are the worst thing to happen to Earth since that big meteor that killed all the dinosaurs. We hunted dodos and black rhinos to extinction, we’re burning up our beautiful little globe, we put this guy in charge of an entire, real country, and now, our latest infraction: We have, thanks to our overconsumption of plastic, forced Aquaman actor and Scrunchie King Jason Momoa to shave his luscious beard. Ugh.
In a video released Wednesday, Momoa goes out into the wilderness (scrunchie in hair), where there’s more room to shave his glorious face bush, one stringy little handful at a time.
“Good-bye Drogo!” he says, throwing one patch of hair into the wind, bidding farewell to his deceased (and bearded) Game of Thrones character.
“I just want to do this to bring awareness that plastics are killing our planet,” he then explains, while shaving the right side of his face. “And I think I have a solution. I don’t wanna bitch about it. It’s only one thing that can really help our planet and save our planet.”
What is this one thing? A new line of aluminum water cans. As Momoa explains, while trimming away locks of his face pubes, “About 75 percent of all aluminum that’s ever been used is still in circulation today, and it’s 100 percent recyclable. So you drink the can, and in about 60 days, it’ll be back.”
That does sound good. Once his whole beard is off (RIP), bare-faced Momoa lays out the water cans in the dirt, cracks one open, and takes a big gulp. “Just water, but I feel good about it,” he says.
He then says, “There’s a change coming, and it’s aluminum,” even though the real change seemed to be his de-bearding.
The canned water seems to be a promotion with the Ball Corporation, but it is not yet clear what the line is called, or whether it is available for purchase. One thing is clear: We messed up, and now Aquaman doesn’t have a beard. Damn.