On Thursday morning — less than a month after several women came forward with accounts of how he had violated their personal space and made them uncomfortable — former vice-president Joe Biden made the long-anticipated and entirely unsurprising announcement that he is seeking the Democratic nomination for president. He did so with a tweet that was mostly ellipses, and then also some words, as if it had been written by someone who was taking hurried notes and only caught every third word.
“The core values of this nation… our standing in the world… our very democracy…everything that has made America –– America ––is at stake,” Biden or someone on his staff wrote. “That’s why today I’m announcing my candidacy for President of the United States. #Joe2020”
Why… is it… like…that? Unclear. He also unveiled his campaign’s new logo, that looks like a “JO” rollerblading on the year “2020” with three red stripes behind him to show how fast he’s going. (This tweet, it should be noted, had… no…ellipses.)
Then, just as people were uncrossing their eyeballs, another 1,000-year-old man made some equally confounding words online.
“Welcome to the race Sleepy Joe. I only hope you have the intelligence, long in doubt, to wage a successful primary campaign. It will be nasty - you will be dealing with people who truly have some very sick & demented ideas. But if you make it, I will see you at the Starting Gate!” tweeted President Trump.
Why “Sleepy Joe”? Which candidate is it that has “sick & demented” ideas? And how can we be sure we haven’t been transported to some strange hell dimension, where all of this is rational and makes sense?
Though Biden argues that the core values of this nation… our standing in the world… our very democracy…everything that has made America –– America ––is at stake… these tweets show that everything that has made America –– America –– (creepy old white guys shouting that they should be in charge) is still well and intact.
A fun reminder: We have a year and a half to go of this.