Dolls! We’re back! Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ new season premiered and we are reunited with the family that’s given us some of the best drama, as well as some of the most boring moments any one television show could over the course of 16 seasons. The Super Sweet 16th Season premiere proved that Kris Jenner still knows what she’s doing. There was no mention of the Jordyn Drama that we know will make this season appointment TV for even the most casual viewers — like anything in life, we must earn that content — so for now, we plow through the slush and Kanye scenes, and hope the “LIARRRRR!!!!!!” episode is coming soon.
This week our A plot was Kanye West being Kanye West with Kim Kardashian West; our B plot was Kourtney’s girls’ trip; and our C plot was Scott looking for where he fits into the show now that Kanye’s here and he’s no longer trying to date Kourtney. #LEGGO
The Coldest Open Ever:
In the Kris Jenner justice system, brand-damaging offenses are considered especially heinous. In Calabasas, the dedicated damage controllers who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the “Get down here and film this show, NOW!!!!!” Unit. These are their stories.
Kanye’s love for Kim could be the reason he decided to join his wife’s television show as a full-time cast member. More realistically, this is his penance for the many confusing right-wing outbursts he had over the past year, but as Kanye tells it in the episode’s opener and his first ever KUWTK confessional, he’s decided to join in on the fun because of the children’s film The Incredibles. Comparing himself to a superhero, Kanye tells the camera that he was inspired by the interviews at the beginning of that movie. Plus, “The wife’s got a big butt. And I just see our life becoming more and more and more like The Incredibles until we can finally fly.” Kanye does have a point. Both his wife, Kim Kardashian, and Elastigirl are the shining examples of how sketches on paper can one day become somewhat-realistic beings made to be viewed on screens of varying sizes.
In all honesty, I am thankful that we’re seeing more of Kanye West on the show, for reasons that have nothing to do with entertainment. Maybe by the end of the season, with the help of any and all health-care professionals watching from home, we will find out why he has such a surplus of ear gunk, and why Kim is constantly cleaning it out. This scene was filmed on January 14, 2019.
We’re joined again by Kanye West and Kim Kardashian as they dine al fresco alongside Kris Jenner, Khloé Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Scott Disick, Corey Gamble, and an array of young ones belonging to the aforementioned. Kim leans over to her spouse and whispers. Some look around confused, but before that can voice their confusion, Kim tells the table that she and Kanye have an announcement. Khloé, conditioned to anticipate the worst, looks on in horror, skeptically asking what the announcement could be. With little to no fanfare, Kim shares that she and Kanye are expecting another baby, a boy. Mason, the eldest of Kris Jenner’s grandchildren, assumes the persona of DJ Khaled and says “another one!” already understanding that this family reproduces at an exceptional rate. Kris Jenner sheds a tear. Responding to the joy, Kanye tells his extended family that he’s “pleased” with the news because he’s stopped using the word “excited.” This scene was filmed on September 11, 2018.
Kim Kardashian West has traveled to the northeastern region of America’s Midwest with her eldest daughter, North West, to visit Kanye West’s Chicago offices, and be shown around the town. Driving to meet Kanye, North, looking out of the slightly cracked car window, tells her mom, “I like the air.” Because she was born into a life of fame in paparazzi-laden Hollywood, it must be extremely rare for North to experience driving with the windows down. This is sad!
After North gets a taste of the great outdoors (wind blowing in from a car window), they make it to Kanye’s office. He’s in a meeting, but stops it to chat with his wife. He tells Kim that they’re set to visit the Regal Theater that afternoon, as well as his childhood home, but first they’d have to get the key from Kanye’s estranged friend, Rhymefest. Around 2011, Kanye and Rhymefest took over ownership of the home after the passing of Kanye’s mother, Donda West. Donda started the process of turning the home into a community center, so after she passed Kanye and Rhymefest vowed to continue what she started. But last year things took a turn for the worse when Rhymefest publicly accused Kanye of not holding up his monetary end of their deal and abandoning Donda’s House. As she often does, Kim used Twitter to say what she needed to say to Rhymefest, claiming she couldn’t hold her tongue after Rhymefest used Kanye’s late mother’s name to express his anger toward Kanye. So, as you’d imagine, sending that text to get some keys is easier said than done.
When talking about Rhymefest, Kim’s demeanor changes. Noticing the negativity, Kanye tells Kim that he’s still got love for Rhymefest, but Kim tells Kanye that she’s got “no love.” In a role reversal, Kanye is the one trying to calm Kim down as they dissect their feud with Rhymefest during their confessional. Kanye explains that one of his assistants was once rude to Rhymefest, so that’s why Rhymefest went public with his anger. Kim doesn’t buy that excuse. This scene was filmed on September 13, 2018.
Here’s something I learned from this episode: You’re not actually wealthy until you have a vacation home big enough for your entire family (which is in fact the size of some small countries) that’s less than two and a half hours away from your main home. This must be why Kris Jenner recently bought a vacation home in Palm Springs. It’s purpose is to provide a respite for her family, and they’re free to travel there whenever they please. So, Khloé and Kourtney have organized a girls trip with their closest friends to help Kourtney get her mind off her breakup with Younes Bendjima. Kourtney mentioned earlier in the episode that she feels most like herself when she’s in a relationship, so being single has really taken its toll on her. She’s excited to take her mind off things.
Neither sister had ever been to the house before, and they’re impressed. It’s bigger than they expected, and they get to work putting the property to good use. Over lunch, Khloé explains to Kendall, formerly identical twins Malika and Khadijah, and other friends (including Justine, who is labeled as “Kendall and Kourtney’s friend”) that Kourtney needs to let loose. As she’s saying this, Kourtney steps out of the house, giving us a body that will make you pray to be almost 40 and the mother of three. Honey is snatched! This scene was filmed on October 4, 2018.
Back in Chicago, North West tries her best to cosplay as a civilian, but makes the grave error of picking up pieces of chewed gum from the sidewalk as if they’re collectible items. As the child is building her immune system with the germs of the middle class, Kim and Kanye take photos with fans outside of the Regal Theatre. Kanye calls the theatre Chicago’s Apollo and he’s excited to be back at the place where he opened for Jay-Z when he was just 17. The owner Jerald Gary shows Kim and Kanye some of the intricate details of the rundown place. Kim’s impressed by the jewels on the ceiling and Kanye’s just excited to see what he can do to help refurbish the space, which Jerald plans to rename the Avalon Regal Theatre. Like Scene 3, this scene was filmed on September 13, 2018, but in February of this year, Kanye pledged $1 million to help renovate the historic theatre.
Still enjoying the Palm Springs sun, which is just slightly hotter than the sun in Los Angeles, Khloé FaceTimes with her baby True. Once she’s done calling her baby “mama” and tousling her hair, Khloé’s mood shifts and she sits, bored, among friends as they watch Kourtney chat up Kendall’s friend Fai. Fai listens patiently to Kourtney as she explains how annoyed she is about how Younes handled their split. Khloé becomes irritated because Kourtney’s mind is clearly not on vacation, and at this point they’re all just sitting around and watching Kourtney talk to her little sister’s friend. Kendall tries to join Kourtney and Fai, but she’s stopped when she accidentally drops her phone in the pool. This scene was filmed on October 4, 2018.
Determined to make her sister have fun, Khloé scoops up Kourtney, carries her on her back, and forces her sister into an impromptu Karaoke session. Now in a hot pink bandeau bikini that defies the laws of gravity, Kourtney’s mood is boosted and the party starts to liven up. After they FaceTime Everybody’s Best Friend Malika’s boyfriend O.T. Genesis to ask if they can sing his hit song “CoCo” on camera, the sisters and friends Karaoke, twerk, and drink until they’re literally on the floor. Like Scene 10, this scene was filmed on October 4, 2018.
Halfway across the country, Kim, Kanye, and North are on their way to Kanye’s childhood home. In the car, Kim explains to Kanye that she doesn’t want to seem like a hater in the way she speaks about Rhymefest, she’s just looking out for his best interests. Kanye understands, and says that he appreciates her perspective. Once they arrive at the house, it seems like maybe they weren’t able to get the keys from Rhymefest after all, because they spend all of their time looking at the backyard. Kanye tells Kim and North about how, back in the day, he explained how Reebok Pumps worked to his friends, while the two ladies look spooked by their surroundings. Still, the family takes a very regular looking family photo in the field of grass. This scene was filmed on September 14, 2018.
In a much different setting Scott Disick, Kris Jenner, and MJ Shannon join together for a high tea. Scott’s arranged the outing so that he and MJ could get all dressed up, but he invited Kris along because MJ’s been feeling left out of her daughter’s life. Earlier in the episode, Scott’s spoke at length with MJ about the circumstances of her move to Calabasas, and how she’s feeling now. MJ told Scott that Kris essentially uprooted her life when she had pneumonia and really couldn’t take care of anything for herself; one day she was at home in San Diego, and the next she was in a new apartment in Calabasas. This would be fine if MJ got to see her daughter a bit more, but she tells Scott that whenever Kris is with her, Kris is always on her phone or distracted by business.
At tea, Scott explains this to a shocked and saddened Kris. Kris didn’t realize that her mom felt neglected, but still feels like she’s being “time-shamed.” Still, Kris tells them that she “understands” and promises to do better. This tea was filmed on December 3, 2018.
Kim has made her way back home, just in time for a meeting with her sister Kylie. Though it’s not explicitly said, the two are almost certainly meeting about a fragrance collaboration for either Kim or Kylie’s cosmetic brand. They sniff their favorite scents and decide on packaging. Since Kim’s done multiple fragrances for her brand, it’s likely that this will be a KKW collab with Kylie. They decide on the smaller set of big lips as their package. Once they’re done discussing business, Kim shows Kylie an ultrasound. Kylie enjoys seeing her future nephew, but the true climax of the scene comes when Kim tells her she’s found out there is someone leaking their family’s secrets. Apparently, it’s North. Kim says she’s been getting texts from North’s classmates’ parents saying congratulations, but fortunately Kim had been able to convince them that it was just North’s creative imagination. She jokes with Kylie that she should just go ahead and tell her friends because they’re great at keeping secrets. Oh, Kim, they may be a little too good at it. This scene was filmed on September 27, 2018.
We’re supposed to believe that it’s been two months since Kim and Kanye have left Chicago, and are now back home in Calabasas awaiting the arrival of Rhymefest. The couple has decided to have a face to face conversation with Kanye’s estranged friend, in hopes of rebuilding their relationship. When Rhymefest arrives, he’s all smiles, even as the conversation gets slightly heated. Without missing a beat, Kim gets right to the point with how she was simply upset that Rhymefest decided to make his emotions so public. She explains that she’s not only confused, because she’s had longtime friends who have never done anything like that, but also Rhymefest should know how much Kanye needs to keep these sorts of disputes private. Rhymefest says he understands, but counters that there were mistakes made on both sides. Honestly, their feud is just confusing, and the main reason they’re mad with one another is because everything was so public. With little input from Kanye, the three put their fight behind them and decide to move on. In a show of good faith, Rhymefest gives Kim a diamond crystal that looks like a shiny stone and tells her, “you love him, I love you.” This scene was filmed on March 3, 2019, 6 months after Kim and Kanye left Chicago.
That’s all for this week, Dolls! I hope you’ll join me next week for another #KUWTKE recap of Keeping Up With Rhymefest and His Friends! #IMPLEASED