Another installment of Kris Jenner’s under-awarded docu-series about the lives of Calabasas’s elite has graced our screens, allowing us a well-deserved, 60-minute escape from the dreary reality of our lives. There’s no time to waste, so let’s get right to their stories.
This week our A-Plot was BALI!!!; Our B-Plot was Kanye West’s Saturday Night Live performance; and our C-Plot was MJ’s health. #LEGGO
We open with the news that the Kardashians are going to Bali, and to prepare Kourtney hosts her mother, Kris, and sister, Kim, for a tea ceremony. Shiva Rose of Shiva Rose Beauty guides the three women, who slowly drink thousand year old tea as they close their eyes and find their zen — well, two of them find their zen. Kourtney says that she and Kendall did this once and went on to have the best day of their lives, Kim hopes that her entire Bali trip mimics this relaxing experience, but Kris looks directly into the lens of the camera, smirking and denying the Experience while pretending to puff on a cigarette. An expert at creating the drama we crave, Kris asks if Scott will be joining the family on their trip. Kourtney, abducted from her zen, snaps that it’s her decision if Scott comes and that it’s unlikely considering that he tried to hide a woman in his hotel room on their last family vacation.
After tea, the women head into Kourtney’s kitchen. Kris asks to borrow a rug to put in MJ’s room, and speaking of MJ, Kris is worried about her mom’s declining health. She’s struggling with pneumonia and waiting to get back test results for a unidentifiable mass in her lungs. When asked if it’s cancer, Kris says they don’t know yet. This scene was filmed on September 25, 2018.
Kris Jenner and Scott Disick are shopping for luxury goods at Nordstrom, and as they hover over a baby Burberry backpack for Penelope, Kris asks if Scott has thought about going to Bali. He says that he’d like to go to show the kids that they’re still a family, but hasn’t said anything to them so they won’t be disappointed if he isn’t there. Kris asks Scott who he thinks can help him approach Kourtney about the trip, and he says he’d probably talk to Kim. They decide that this is what he should do. Before leaving, Kris heads into the Chanel Shop to try on a muff. This scene was filmed on September 20, 2018, five days before Kris asked Kourtney if Scott was welcome on the Bali trip in Scene 1.
On the heels of Kanye West announcing to a Chicago audience that he and his family were permanently moving there, Kim Kardashian West makes a special trip from L.A. to visit him. Kanye listens as she kindly asks what the fuck is up and Kanye, annoyed, tells Kim that they talked about this, so she shouldn’t be surprised. Kim recalls a conversation and tells Kanye that she didn’t think he was serious, considering that Kanye also proposed that their family of five move into his mother’s old one-bedroom house. This upsets Kanye, and he tells Kim “any conversation I have is serious, I don’t play.” Kim eases his mind, saying she thought he meant they’d go and do that for about two weeks, but not for life. She apologizes to Kanye for not taking him seriously and promises to think about it. But, in her confessional, Kim tells the camera that she’s going to ride out this idea of Kanye’s, because it just may not pan out.
When the conversation is done, Kim tells her husband that she and her crew need to catch their flight, but Kanye is confused because they’re flying private and should be able to leave whenever they want. Wonderful to know that our extraordinarily wealthy American comrades have a blatant disregard for air space and air traffic control! This scene was filmed on September 20, 2018.
Back at home in Calabasas, Kim shows her mother, her mother’s boyfriend, and her sister’s baby’s father some photos of her bare ass in a tub. Kris says she’d love a black-and-white print for her home. Kim says, “Ew.” Soon after, Kourtney and Khloé and their kids join the group for lunch. While they’re eating, Kourtney tells the the table about her Reiki practitioner’s method of burping on her to release toxins. Kourtney admits that she couldn’t stop laughing during their first session, but now she’s at ease with the experience. No one else in her family finds this appealing. (We’re sure to learn more about this alternative healing method on Poosh.com in four to eight business days.) Kourt then asks Kris if she’d like to see The Sound of Music over the weekend. Kris can’t make it, and Mason says he would like to opt out as well — he wants to go to a ‘Ye concert instead. Scott tells Mason that Kanye won’t be coming back to Los Angeles anytime soon, and that Kim and her family may be moving to Chicago. Mason is floored. He tells Kim that she can’t move to Chicago because her whole life and family is in LA. Kim agrees, but tells Mason that Kanye thinks this move is no different than Khloé living in Cleveland part-time to be with Tristan. Khloé doesn’t advocate for this lifestyle, and thinks a Chicago move is … not ideal. Kim agrees, but puts on a brave face. This scene was filmed on September 19, 2018.
Kim goes to Scott’s “office” at Calabasas Luxury Motorcars to look at cars and talk about Kourtney. You may have forgotten, but many years ago, back when Kourtney and Scott were still trying to make things work, Kim voiced her confusion about what Scott did for a living. He never told her explicitly, but in one episode we learned that he’s apparently the president of Calabasas Luxury Motorcars, despite the website having no mention of him at all. While roaming the shop, Scott tells Kim that Kylie just purchased a Ferrari for Kris as a surprise.
Once the two reach Scott’s “office,”which contains no personal touches or signs of anyone having been in it before this scene, Kim tells her would-be brother-in- law about a plan to get him invited to Bali. She suggests he bring Kourtney and the kids to New York to see Kanye’s Saturday Night Live performance that weekend. Scott thinks it’s a great idea, so he calls Kourtney up and she’s 100 percent game. Kim and Scott are excited and hope their plan works. This scene was filmed on September 25, 2018.
Once the family makes it to New York, Kim and the kids visit Kanye in the studio. Kim spends her time pleading with North to stop treating the studio equipment like a Fisher Price jungle gym, but also helps Kanye lock down a feature for his song by calling Stormi Webster’s nemesis Nicki Minaj to see if she’d write a verse.The three of them end up FaceTiming, Nicki is gracious, says she’s excited to hop on the track and then says things other rappers would be scared to say. After the call, Kim tells Kanye that she has to leave because North is getting antsy, and though she doesn’t vocalize it to him, she’s feeling overwhelmed with all she has to do for the kids while they’re traveling.
In the car, North asks Kim why so many people photograph them all the time, and Kim tells the girl that it’s because her dad is an “artiste!” and her mom has “so many talents.” This scene was filmed on September 29, 2018.
Scott and his kids have dinner with his longtime friend, Scott Reda, and his daughter, Charlie. The meal is low-key, which is why Scott is surprised when a very tired Kim strolls in wearing a skintight, cutout, minidress. He asks if she has plans later that would warrant such a look, and she says she doesn’t. Kim’s impressed at how chill Scott’s being and commends him on being such a family man. Scott attributes this change to the fact that he likes being with his kids more than he did a few years ago. Now he’d rather be with them than have fake small talk with acquaintances. This scene was filmed on September 28, 2018.
Unfortunately, cameras weren’t allowed to film the family backstage at Saturday Night Live, so all we’re given is grainy and offensively strung together footage of Kim, Kanye, and Kourtney recounting what went down. It appears the crew wasn’t even in the car with the family as they made their way back to the hotel, because in some frames it seems as though someone in the last row of an SUV is using their cell phone to film Kim, who is in the middle row. Then, in other frames, Kourtney and Scott also seem to be in the middle row of an SUV, filmed by the cameras installed in their car. These are two two separate car rides (one before the show and one after) but both are used to somehow make this scene cogent.
In any case, after the show, they talk a little bit about Kanye’s the pro-Trump rant from the end of the show, and wonder if the SNL will post the full clip online. Kanye assumes they will, and Kim tells him that she was anxious every time he was onstage. She nearly says she felt as though she was watching a child perform, but instead just says she always feels anxious when a loved one performs. No one really knows how to respond to the evening. In his confessional Scott says the night was different, but he was happy that Mason got to meet cool people. This scene was filmed in the wee hours of September 30, 2018.
Kim and Kourtney go shopping with North and Reign and end up struggling to keep their kids out of the store’s window, where a crowd has drawn to watch them. Kim’s concerned because Penelope apparently told the kids that the family is famous, which is causing some issues. Kim would prefer that the kids think of themselves as “well-known,” and their parents as the famous ones.
While the kids are performing for the crowd, Kim and Kourtney talk about where Kourtney’s landed on inviting Scott to Bali, and Kourtney’s still unsure. She doesn’t want to send mixed signals to Scott or the media if they’re seen vacationing together. Kim says she thinks that Kourtney should give him a chance because he’s changed and this time the change is real. This scene was filmed on September 30, 2018.
Scene 16/Scene 17:
Kourtney and Scott take their kids and Chris and Charlie Reda for a day of fun in the city. They hit up Dylan’s candy store where Kourtney places her bare hands in one of the shop’s candy dispensers to steal herself one gummy. I don’t know why I was shocked by this sort of unsanitary behavior from someone who routinely puts her shoes on furniture, but I was! And she’s health nut of the family! Please, I’m begging you all, never, ever put your personal bacteria in a communal jar of loose candy!
After putting the health of the TriState area’s citizens in jeopardy, Kourtney and her family hit up an Aircraft exhibit. Scott shows the kids around, and they play inside the planes. Kourtney is impressed with Scott’s behavior, and loves seeing him be a family man. Kourtney asks 14-year-old Charlie Reda if she has a boyfriend or has a crush? Charlie says she doesn’t, and Scott jokes to Charlie’s father that Kourtney could probably set her up with someone. He laughs as though he’s not the one who’s dating a woman closer in age to Charlie than anyone Kourtney’s dated in the last calendar year. This scene was filmed on September 28, 2018.
As they prepare to leave New York, Kourtney and Scott finally chat about Bali. Kourtney explains that she previously banned Scott from all family trips because he’s behaved so disrespectfully toward her during past vacations. Scott understands, but feels like he deserves this second chance. Kourtney thinks about it, tells Scott that she doesn’t want to lead him on, which he doesn’t understand considering he’s “in a full relationship,” but ultimately she decides that he should come on the trip. Scott’s excited, and Kourtney thinks this may be a turning point in their relationship. This scene was filmed on September 30, 2018.
Back in Los Angeles, Khloé invites the family over for dinner. Before they eat, Kris gifts Khloé with her MTV TV & Movie award for Best Reality Show. Khloé jokingly thanks God and Kimberly for “fucking on tape.” At the table, Kourtney announces that she’s allowing Scott to go to Bali, and Khloé’s thrilled because she thinks that Scott makes things more fun. Kris asks Kim and Kourtney about SNL and Kim says it was fine, that Kanye went on a rant, and that the show may never invite them back again. Kris calmly tells Kim that maybe she should pay more attention to her husband, and he won’t act out as much. Kim tells her mom that she has “a million kids” and “a million jobs,” and she doesn’t really have much more to give Kanye. Kris stands by her statement. This scene was filmed on October 1, 2018.
Kim wakes up Kanye, who is sleeping in one of their anti-decorated rooms, to tell him she’s headed out, but before she goes she wants to talk about Chicago. Kim tells Kanye that with the children in school, it’s nearly impossible to move. So, to compromise, she suggests that they get a second home in Chicago, and during summers they can go there as much as he’d like. Kanye agrees, but wants Kim to really understand that Chicago, not Hidden Hills, is his home. Plus, when he’s in Chicago, people call him “KANYAY!” because they’re so happy to see him. Kim counters that in L.A., people screen “KIM KARDASSHHHHIAAANNN!!” Thankfully, they reach an agreement so that both members of this relationship will have ample time in the city where they’re the most famous. This scene was filmed on or around January 25, 2018 on one of the few days in late January when Kanye was sporting this hair design.
Thanks for joining me this week, Dolls! I’m headed to Bali* with the Kardashians next weekend, so I may not see you for some time. Never fear, though, I’ll be back soon with another #KUWTKE recap of Keeping Up With Bali soon! #IDONTJOKE
*Not really, but I will be on vacation.