Austria Begs People to Stop Kissing Cows

Do not kiss!!! Photo: AFP/AFP/Getty Images

In an attempt to preemptively quash the rise of a worrying new trend, Austria has issued a stern warning to its citizens: Please abstain from smooching cows!!!

The command, issued by Austrian agriculture minister Elisabeth Köstinger, was not unprompted. This Wednesday, the Guardian reports that the Swiss app Castl launched the KuhKussChallenge (translation, “Cow Kiss Challenge”), which urges people to kiss bovines, “with or without tongues,” for charity. How exactly participating in this challenge will raise money is quite unclear, as is the specifics of the charity. And yet, people in Switzerland and other German-speaking countries have been carelessly smashing their tiny little mouths up against cows’ big rubbery lips — what Köstinger has called a “dangerous nuisance.”

“Pastures and meadows are not petting zoos — actions like these could have serious consequences,” she said. She also warned that the non-consenting cows could get defensive, especially if they feel as if their calves are threatened.

First, the CDC demanded we stop kissing chickens. And now, this? Perhaps kissing farm animals … is bad.

Austria Begs People to Stop Kissing Cows