I Can’t Wait to Read the Wikipedia Page for Midsommar

Midsommar screengrab.
Who is she? Photo: A24

The teaser trailer for Hereditary director Ari Aster’s new movie, Midsommar, dropped today, much to the delight of horror fans everywhere. And after watching it, let me be the first to say: I can’t wait to read the Midsommar Wikipedia page.

Is there any way I’m seeing any more of this movie beyond the one minute and 39 seconds in this clip? Absolutely fucking not! But I am entirely desperate to know what happens, while also remaining aware that witnessing the actual plot play out on screen in front of me will short-circuit my brain and force me to sleep with the light on for anywhere between two months and 46 years. I’ll settle for the mild adrenaline rush of a plainly laid-out, point-by-point summation of the horrors at hand that I can read in three minutes while hoovering down my desk lunch. Someone gets brutally decapitated while leaning out of a car window and the grandma was part of a coven trying to summon a demon from the depths of hell? The perfect light mealtime reading, thank you.

Midsommar is set in a remote Swedish town, during what appears to be some sort of pagan festival. There’s a wardrobe of white hippie dresses, dancing around a Maypole, fresh-faced backpackers, a gutted bear, and screaming … oh my God, so much tortured screaming. Overall, it has strong Wicker Man vibes, based on my extensive knowledge of The Wicker Man and The Wicker Man (2006 film) Wikipedia pages.

Anyway, if it’s anything like the Hereditary Wikipedia page, I’m sure it’ll be great.

Update, 5/14: The official full-length trailer is out now, and my opinion still stands.

I Can’t Wait to Read the Wikipedia Page for Midsommar