Gordon Klein, husband of Big Little Lies’ Renata Klein, is a disgraced entrepreneur, a man child, a transition lens–wearer, a toy train guy, someone who married precipitously out of his league. He is the sound of a barely suppressed beer burp and hotel Pay-per-View, the smell of Axe Body Spray and a midlife-crisis Harley Davidson. He is a degenerate, a dirtbag, a grade-A loser, and my summer 2019 style inspiration.
Why pick the energy of a man who has hurled his family into financial ruin and wears layers of leather bracelets to guide me this season? Summer is the dirtbaggiest time of all, obviously. The Gordon Klein of seasons, if you will. Like Gordon, it’s chaotically horny (remember him and Renata Doing It in his office bathroom in season one?). Like Gordon, summertime tries to convince us that flip-flops are acceptable footwear, and that maybe we can pull off shell necklaces. It encourages us to day-drink, and tries to tells us to just, like, cut loose, chill out, to be “present” and selfish, even though we still have jobs and bills and responsibilities, and we can’t really afford to disappear into our Man Caves and play with trains right now.
“We’re creatures of want!” Gordon shouted at Renata last week, and summer shouts at us every day.
To tap into my inner Gordon is to tap into the spirit of summer, to be one with this absolute taint of a season, with nature, with the universe.
Eventually, the days will shorten, the temperature will drop, and I will come back to my senses. I will wear closed-toe shoes, and stop chugging bottles of wine in the afternoon sun, and I will work to avoid my charges of securities fraud. But for now, I strap on my 37 leather bracelets, and my chunky silver rings, pop on my backwards baseball cap, and sink into the summer, my transition lenses shielding me from the harsh glare of reality.