the truth is out there

Area 51 Is Cool, But Have You Heard of Wright-Patterson?

Photo: Bombonia - Celina Alvarado/Getty Images

Once again I must admit that I feel resentful of the newfound popular interest in aliens, and it is not just because Storm Area 51 is a meme for funny teens and I am old and not as funny as they are. It is also because I know more about aliens than they do, having pursued every last deranged book and documentary on the subject in-depth for more than a decade. It’s like watching a celebrity discover feminism now, in the year 2019, by declaring herself anti-Photoshop. Good for you, I guess …?

No, but it is very funny. I like all the tweets and TikToks. It’s just that Area 51 is, like, the Beatles of UFOlogy. Name five of its shadiest former officials, poser!

If you really care about aliens, and the truth, you’d be better off looking into Wright-Patterson, an Air Force base in Dayton, Ohio. Wright-Patterson was the confirmed site of Project Sign — later Project Grudge, and later still, Project Blue Book — an official government study of UFOs. This secretive government research project was officially “terminated” in 1969, but I think we can all agree that it’s definitely ongoing. Here is one piece of trivia from the base’s Wikipedia I especially like: “In a 1988 interview, Senator Barry Goldwater claimed he had asked Gen. Curtis LeMay for access to a secret UFO room at [Wright-Patterson] and an angry LeMay said, “Not only can’t you get into it, but don’t you ever mention it to me again.” !!!

The authors of the wildest UFO books I’ve ever read recently published the paperback edition of UFO Secrets Inside Wright-Patterson: Eyewitness Accounts From the Real Area 51, and while I haven’t read it yet, I feel like the title alone confirms my point. The real Area 51 is such a burn.

Area 51 Is Cool, But Have You Heard of Wright-Patterson?