hairy situations

Helen Mirren, Will You Please Cut My Hair?

Helen Mirren does home haircuts (although not necessarily this one). Photo: Shutterstock

I have one frustrating bit of hair that grows at a measurably faster rate than the other bits. It is located at the nape of my neck, and invariably, a few months after getting it cut, I will be washing my hair and feel this rogue chunk waggling way too far down my back. This sneaky lock must be stopped, and so I typically take whatever scissors might be lying around — nail scissors, regular old scissors — and hack it down to a more reasonable size. For the six-ish years I’ve been giving myself home trims, I’ve been made to understand that I don’t do a particularly good job. Stylists tend to notice, and puzzle over the weird patch with knitted brows.

Well, whatever, I can now say with casual confidence. Helen Mirren cuts her own hair with kitchen scissors, and what’s good enough for Helen Mirren is more than good enough for me.

Page Six” reports that Mirren, an actual Dame, appeared on British talk show This Morning on Friday, and shared a compelling beauty secret. (Mirren actually prefers “being tip” to “beauty tip,” for the record.) The 73-year-old actor recalled a recent trip to see her Hollywood “hair guy,” Stefan.

“‘The cut I have right now, Stefan, is something that I did with the kitchen scissors about a week ago in my kitchen,” she told him. “’So you know, maybe you could clean it up a bit for me?’ So yes, I do cut my own hair.”

And just look at the results! Look at the sweep of those bangs! Piece-y, but not chaotically so. I am choosing to cleave to a time-tested Mirrenism — “ignore anyone who judges the way you look” — in continuing to “only do what makes me feel better,” as she has previously advised. In this case, that’s blindly lopping off my weird long hairs while holding up Mirren’s impeccable head as aspirational inspiration. Unless of course she wants to come to my home and give me a lesson. The invite is always open.

Helen Mirren, Will You Please Cut My Hair?