These are trying times. The globe is melting, all news is bad news, and Central Park’s Hot Duck hasn’t been seen in months. But today, a tiny, sterilized bit of solace: supermodel Naomi Campbell’s absolutely incredible airport routine.
As CNN reported, the 49-year-old possible Liam Payne kisser posted a video of her routine earlier this month during a trip from Nice, France, to Doha, Qatar. The video opens with Campell in a spacious, first-class seat, saying to the camera, “I love traveling, I was born traveling.” Also “I love being in the air. I love being everywhere yet nowhere at the same time,” a truly beautiful sentiment I will meditate on the next time I am sardined with my fellow travelers in economy, my knees crunched up under my chin, breathing in other people’s farts.
Everywhere yet nowhere. Everywhere yet nowhere. Everywhere yet nowhere.
After offering these words of wisdom, Campbell, in brown silk pajamas and oversize sunglasses, compliments an unseen person’s legs (“She has great legs. Great calves”). I don’t think this is part of her routine, but maybe it is — a way of putting good energy out into the universe before taking flight. Then she makes her way through security and putters around a Duty Free, castigating herself for wanting chocolate, scoping out lipsticks, and pointing out great magazine covers. As I watch, I feel the muscles around my neck relax.
When it’s time to board, she points out the size of the plane’s engine — “Look how big this engine is. It’s so big” — and takes a picture on her iPhone. It is big, and my brain feels nice and smooth watching this obvious, but still pleasant and interesting, fact be pointed out.
On the plane is where the video really takes off, pun intended! In her seat, Campbell unpacks a gallon Ziploc of pills and a bag full of face masks, then grabs a pair of anti-bacterial gloves to disinfect “anything that you could possibly touch.”
“This is what I do on every plane I get on. I do not care what people think of me,” she says, wiping down the side of her chair.
Everywhere yet nowhere, I whisper to myself.
Then, to be extra-clean, she pulls out a bright-pink seat cover for her chair, explaining that she changes the covers weekly and has them hand-washed at every hotel she goes to.
By the time Campbell dons both her hydration mask and a sanitary mask, the tension in my body has completely melted away. Soon the woes of the world will come rushing back into my brain, but for now I feel warm and comforted in the knowledge that, somewhere over my head, maybe right at this instant, Naomi Campbell is putting one small, first-class corner of the universe in order.
Everywhere yet nowhere.