Stars, they’re just like us: discombobulated bipeds that were never meant to take to the sea. Except that they have yachts.
The Daily Mail reported on Sunday that a gang of American celebrities were engaging in some typical yacht-hopping off the Italian shore of Panarea over the weekend. Katy Perry was loading herself on a dinghy when her body became awkwardly squished on the tiny seacraft and she managed to get herself stuck. Luckily, Bradley Cooper, not a man to forget the lyrics to Shallow or the gallant lessons the song imparts, was there to help Perry out of her precarious position so that the dinghy could move “far from the shallows” and back to a $200 million yacht. Oprah was there too, laughing. She and Gayle King later headed to a different boating monstrosity.
And Cooper celebrated his rescue with some thickly applied sunscreen.
The Daily Mail reports that the celebs had just completed their three-day session at Google Camp in Sicily, an extravagant retreat where powerful, wealthy, and famous people think about climate change and chill (not possible for most of us to do both at once). “Page Six” reported that 200 “stars” enlisted 114 gas-guzzling private jets just to get to the camp, where they partied on megayachts and were treated to the musical stylings of Coldplay.
I hope celebs are hard at work building yachts for the rest of us in anticipation of sea levels continuing to rise, but I’m guessing I’ll have to settle for struggling onto a dinghy.