What is the best way to transport a small child’s weight in cake mix from point A to point B? You could ship it, which presumably gives you the added benefit of being able to declare or indicate your parcel’s contents upfront. (Boring, predictable.) You could pack it into a car and drive it, or have some sort of delivery service do the job. (Ho hum.) Or! You could parcel it out into a bunch of plastic bags and cram them into a suitcase. That’s always an option — albeit one that might get you flagged as an attempted drug trafficker. But hey, gimme danger.
Purezza, a vegan pizzeria in the U.K., went the luggage route in attempting to move some 25 bags of product through Gatwick Airport, near London. According to the Guardian, the British Transport Police thought they had a “huge drugs bust” on their hands, intercepting a roller bag full of white powder around 1:30 p.m. local time on August 28.
Had the powder actually been narcotic, it may have qualified as the most brazen smuggling attempt since that time a man glued a half-kilo of coke to his head, threw on a toupee, and hit the tarmac. But after the BTP and the Home Office ran tests on the substance, they discovered it was just dairy-free cake mix. “Please label your foods and bring samples of cake next time you visit,” BTP Sussex tweeted, along with a photo of the (you must admit) suspiciously packaged haul. And according to Metro, Purezza has gamely promised the whole of the BTP (or at least the Sussex arm) “a slab of cake” next time they’re in Brighton, home to one of the pizza purveyor’s two locations.
All in all, just an innocent little mix-up that could happen to anyone. Everyone knows that drugs hide in cheese now, anyway.