power moves

This Is the Most-Perfect First Date Move in Recorded History

Tina Turner. Photo: Franziska Krug/Getty Images

Tina Turner, a.k.a. Anna Mae Bullock, diva extraordinaire, chateau princess, has perfected the often tired and embarrassing rituals of romance, per a new New York Times profile. She of the iconic voice and legs set eyes on her current husband, Erwin Bach, liked how he looked, then promptly researched his full birth chart before demanding he have sex with her. Thirty years later, he drives her around in an SUV and stops speaking when she gestures for silence.

Turner told the Times she first saw Bach at a record label party in 1985, after he “emerged from behind a column in a jaunty windbreaker.” She liked his nose and jaw but not his hairstyle, which seems to have prompted her to do more research into a potential coupling. Later that night, “at a business dinner where she had made sure to look extra fine,” according to writer Amanda Hess, “she mischievously requested every last record company executive’s date of birth and then researched Bach’s full astrological profile. (He’s an Aquarius, thank God. Ike, obviously, was a Scorpio). Then, when the Cristal was flowing, she turned to him and said, ‘I want you to make love to me.’”

While it is of course every woman’s prerogative to forthrightly request a potential romantic partner’s full birth chart immediately (this is international law), Turner’s move is a smart way to gather data without interrupting a dinner. And her relationship proves that the perfect marriage is possible, if you use the moon and stars to find a mate who will heed your every beck and call. “Whenever he talks too much,” Hess reports, “Turner raises a hand in the air and cinches her fingers together in the style of Dr. Evil, and he quiets.” I love love.

This Is the Most-Perfect First Date Move in Recorded History