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Are These Town & Country Cover Lines Real or Fake?

Photo: Courtesy of Town & Country

Nobody does cover lines like the good people at Town & Country. In September, the magazineโ€™s cover heralded an article titled โ€œCelebrity Death Etiquette,โ€ which advised not to post an Instagram tribute to a celeb youโ€™ve never met. Back in January, cover stories included โ€œMommy, Are We Rich?,โ€ โ€œIs Exercise Making You Fat?,โ€ and โ€œLetโ€™s All Move to New Zealand.โ€ (Ooh, letโ€™s!)

Each cover line sounds breathless on its own, but when theyโ€™re taken together, the comedy starts to emerge โ€” this is a magazine thatโ€™s extolling the lifestyles of the rich and famous but also, maybe, delicately, totally mocking the hell out of them. The tone is fun and campy, and frankly, weโ€™re jealous that someone else gets to make them up. So the Cut decided to invent our own. Some of the headlines below appeared on real covers, including a few from this monthโ€™s issue with Laura Dern. Others are not from Town & Country. But all describe articles I would love to read.

Did This Appear on a Town & Country Cover?

Nepotism: A User's Guide
10 Princes Who Are Still Single
High Society in Aspen: When Galas Meet Ganja
Italian Aristos: How to Dress the Part
What the Rich Love to Steal, Part II
The Untalented Mr. Ripley: How to Spot a Scammer
15 Lakes to Buy in Italy
How Rich Is Too Rich?
So Your Kid Watched Succession. Now What?
The $400 Million California Horse Feud

Are These Town & Country Cover Lines Real or Fake?