too horny

Horny Cat Needs Glucose Drip After All-Night Bone-a-Thon

Photo: Igor Galich / EyeEm/Getty Images/EyeEm

Can an overabundance of sex be too much for a body to handle? Try telling that to the male cat who went on an all-night boning spree and needed a glucose drip to recover. Get it.

The horny king, who goes by Xiaopi, was left at a pet hotel in Guangdong Province in South China, as the New Zealand Herald reports. His human, Mr. Zhao, warned the business that his cat had not been neutered, but they must have not thought it a big deal, and let Xiaopi do as he pleased. “I thought they’d be professional, but the staff member didn’t feed Xiaopi during the day and let him out to roam freely at night,” he reportedly wrote on social media. “That’s right, all the cats were free to walk around the shop and then the employee went home.” Hungry and horny.

Zhao said that sometime between 10.40 p.m. and 5:00 a.m., Xiaopi’s nocturnal fuckathon had ensued, resulting in him mating with five female cats — or, at least, those were the only ones Zhao could see in the CCTV footage. After a night of sexual hijinks, ol’ Xiapoi needed fluid therapy. Zhao then claimed that the staff of the pet hotel put the blame on him and asked him to explain the situation to the other cat owners. “My fucking cat is exhausted and on a glucose drip, and this is my fault?” Zhao wrote. Later, the pet hotel ended up apologizing, and offered to pay for Xiaopi’s vet bills and compensate the owners of the pregnant cats.

Do you think Xiaopi regrets his wild night of free love? How could he? It’s great material for his catobiography someday. Plus, he fully recovered! What a legend. Make sure to see photos of the horny feline in all his glory, especially one particular picture that somehow resembles this famous gif of Antonio Banderas.

Horny Cat Needs Glucose Drip After All-Night Bone-a-Thon