rich people

Imagine Thinking a Baby Deserves a Chandelier in His Stroller

Photo: Getty Images

Societally, we’ve come to the conclusion that it’s nice to give presents to babies, even though they barely know what’s going on, and certainly can’t keep track of their possessions. Baby showers and baby birthday parties are standard practice: fine. Consider that battle lost. But giving a baby — specifically, a Trump baby — a golden carriage with a built-in chandelier, as Ellen DeGeneres apparently did in 2006? That is simply too far. For a lot of reasons.

A 13-year-old People slideshow including Ellen’s lavish gift to then-infant Barron resurfaced this week, after Ellen was criticized for her friendship with former President George W. Bush. (“It’s fun,” Melania told the outlet of the luxury baby receptacle, which she was photographed pushing around her $100 million penthouse. “It makes you laugh.”) This is indicative of the same sort of multimillionaire goggles through which very rich people tend to perceive other very rich people as their equals and friends, even if some of the very rich people are gay and some of them are widely considered to be war criminals. It is also indicative of the fact that very rich people often have very bad taste!

Babies like mobiles, sure. I was briefly with a baby (not mine) this weekend, and he could not get enough of the mobile positioned above his changing station. There were little stuffed animals hanging from it: an elephant, a bear, a giraffe. I asked him which was his favorite, though obviously he didn’t answer. I don’t want to put words in that baby’s mouth, but I doubt he actually has a favorite, or even cares very much what is hanging from the mobile. It could be little pieces of trash (a gum wrapper, a receipt) and if they circled around to music, it would still be nice to watch, I think.

But a chandelier? Made of gold? It doesn’t even play music, or spin alluringly. Did little Barron really give a shit? And functionally, what has a chandelier ever been good for, apart from falling on a bad guy in a movie? Seems dangerous. In the People picture, Melania is depicted holding Barron while pushing the empty golden chandelier stroller, which defeats the purpose, and is also very creepy. Where is that stroller now, do you think? I have a feeling it’s in storage somewhere, being used as a drawer for old sweaters. Rich people!!!

Ellen Once Gave Melania a Stroller With Built-in Chandelier