Remember the time on Vanderpump Rules that then-SURver Kristen Doute cheated on her then-boyfriend, Tom Sandoval, by hooking up with Jax Taylor on their couch (while they were watching the 2011 Ryan Gosling crime drama Drive) — shortly after he and Kristen’s best friend, Stassi Schroeder, had broken up because he got a woman pregnant in Vegas? Or the time, after she and Tom broke up, that she got dolled up in a saucy green dress to go pick up her mail at their old apartment, and Tom, who was now in a happy relationship with Ariana Madix, was like, Oh God? Or the time that she punched her then-boyfriend, DJ/busboy James Kennedy, in the parking lot outside of Scheana’s wedding reception? Or the time after that, when she figured out that James had cheated on her by hacking into his email and checking his Uber receipts?
Remember all of that? Well, soon you too can learn the secrets of being an interpersonal wrecking ball, because Doute is writing a self-help book! Per an exclusive announcement from People:
Best known for her “take no prisoners” approach to friendships, life and love, Doute, 36, has teamed up with How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days author Michele Alexander to create the ultimate guide to owning your “crazy” and never giving up on love.
“Take no prisoners” is one way to describe “once brought a woman she had DMed with on Instagram to her ex’s place of work, to confront him about his alleged cheating.” Sure.
With He’s Making You Crazy, Doute says she wants to reclaim the power of the word “crazy,” and more specifically to “create an army of boss bitches who own being ‘crazy’ and fight for the respect we deserve.” The book is expected to be published summer 2020, around the same time the next season of Vanderpump Rules is set to air.
Is it absurd that Kristen Doute — a woman who has devoted much of her adult life to crashing parties she was specifically forbidden from attending, and dating men who can most generously be described as “expired cans of Axe body spray” — is writing a book about love and respect? Yes. Will I read it, and get one of its lines tattooed on my forearm like Scheana Shay’s “It’s all happening” tattoo? Possibly. Will the Paris Review be brave enough to publish an essay about it? Only time will tell.