cut opinion pages

The Mona Lisa Should Just Get Bangs

Photo: Getty Images

On Wednesday morning, cancel culture reached new, unexpected heights: “It’s Time to Take Down the Mona Lisa,” read a headline in the Times Art section. Author Jason Farago takes a strong stance, arguing that Leonardo da Vinci’s painting should be “moved out of the way.” Why? Not only is it a “security hazard,” but it’s also an “educational obstacle” and — this one is really scorching — “not even a satisfying bucket-list item.” Ouch! That is insulting to both Ms. Mona Lisa, and buckets.

These arguments can be gleaned from the article’s headline and description alone. I will admit that have not read a single line of Farago’s “Critic’s Notebook.” And honestly, I don’t really want to, because after Google image-searching “Mona Lisa” this morning and taking one good look at her, I know exactly what the real problem is. She should just … get bangs?

Everyone’s doing it. Probably because at the beginning of this year, my astute colleague Madeleine Aggeler said they should. Since then, both Timothée Chalamet and Harry Styles heard our siren call. Kim Kardashian West got bangs. There were Big Little Bangs, and Terf Bangs, and even something called Side Fringe. Ms. Mona Lisa could be next.

At the Cut, we like to offer solutions, not cancellations. “This will solve the Louvre’s overcrowding issues, because everyone who sees her will immediately run out to get bangs,” Maddie told me, which I think is correct.

In conclusion, the only thing that needs to “move out of the way” is Ms. Mona Lisa’s forehead to make room for some beautiful, glorious bangs.

The Mona Lisa Should Just Get Bangs